Return
by Marie the Hedgecat
Summary: Part two of "Esplouge". Esplouge has returned, but something about him is different.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is part two of my other fan fiction, "Esplouge". If you have not read part one, you may be a little confused, and you'll spoil the ending of the first part for yourself. Otherwise, read on and please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I only own this plot and the character Esplouge. The rest belongs to Sonic Team.

--

Sometimes if you wish hard enough for something, it will come true, regardless of physical limitations. If one wished hard enough, he or she could bring the dead back to life. Or at least, that was what Tails wished for dearly. For another chance to talk to Esplouge, maybe to help fix whatever was wrong with him. It had only been a month since Esplouge had died, so of course Tails was still mourning. Everyone else had gone on with their lives, but here was Tails, locked up in his house, moping around all day, the only thoughts that crept through his mind focused entirely on Esplouge.

_He was going to say something important to me._

_What was he going to say?_

_I know it was not going to be a death threat. I could tell just from the look in his eyes. The tone of his voice..._

_I want him to come back. He deserves another chance. He's good on the inside._

_..._

_I really need to stop referring to him as if he's still alive._

His friends, his self proclaimed _real_ friends who would never hurt him in any way, continually tried to reach out to him, to cheer him up and help him move on, but Tails kept pushing them away. He pushed and pushed until they finally gave up. They called him less. They stopped by less. It had been almost three weeks since he had spoken to any of them.

Except for Sonic, of course. Sonic had made a habit of calling him every day, although on this particular day, he was late. Tails stared at the telephone, not sure whether he should be happy or sad. On one hand, Sonic was not bothering him anymore. Yet on the other hand, it could mean that Sonic just stopped caring. It was hard for the young fox to believe, but once the thought penetrated, it remained. What if Sonic didn't care about him anymore?

_I need to stop acting so ridiculous. Sonic hasn't forgotten me or anything. He's probably just busy with something. After all, he has that habit of jumping into action at the first sign of a threat._

_Besides, this means that he's leaving me alone, at least for a while. More time for my thoughts and less time hearing him fail at trying to cheer me up._

_... But still... I wonder if he's okay?_

If Sonic had missed his usual call, then it was more than likely he was in action somewhere. If that was the case, he could be in some sort of danger. This thought rolled around in Tails' mind for a moment although he tried to push it back.

_Maybe he just took an extra long run. Or lost track of time. He does that sometimes, right?_

To make himself feel better, Tails left his house for the first time in a month, pleased to see that the morning sun was obscured behind thick clouds. He would feel better if he could see Sonic in person, so he began to search.

Around an hour later, he found himself in the place he had been a month ago, waking Shadow up on a gloomy morning, warning him that Esplouge was very much alive.

_But he was dead. We all saw his old base explode. Heck, Shadow almost got caught in it. But when we found his body...._

Tails looked up at the tree Shadow had been resting in a month ago. It's leaves were gone, winter having taken them.

_...there were no burns or anything. His body was completely in tact, even though he had been in the middle of the explosion._

Tails shuddered and moved on, still looking for Sonic. He was almost ready to give in to the weather and head home, but he was not going to admit defeat quite yet.

_He had no pulse that time. But he came back._

Tails stopped walking and stared at the ground as if in a trance.

_But... is he going to come back this time?_

Tails stood alone in the forest for quite some time before a rustling sound jarred him from his thoughts. Curious, he headed toward the sound of the noise, wondering who - or what - was there with him.

_I hope it's Sonic. I really need to talk to him anyway._

Of course, it wasn't Sonic.

Sometimes when you wish for something hard enough, your wish will come true, even if it defies all logic. Sometimes it can be good, and sometimes it can be bad, but all in all, it was just innocent wishing. He had made his wish and now was ready to receive it.

Esplouge was standing quite limply in the clearing ahead.

Tails hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether he should run to Esplouge or run _from_him, but he eventually settled on the first decision. He ran as fast as he could and stopped only when Esplouge heard him and turned to face him.

_...What?_

Something about Esplouge seemed different. His eyes in particular, something about his _eyes_...

They seemed calm. Confused.

_He's not glaring at me like he always used to..._

"Es- Esplouge?" Tails called softly, afraid of causing that glare to appear. Of course it didn't.

"H- hunh?" Esplouge faltered a moment, nearly falling over sideways, but regained his balance before Tails could react.

_My head..._

"Es... Are you okay?" Tails asked, still afraid of inciting Esplouge's rage. Yet at the same time, he was finding himself growing bolder with each passing moment. Something deep inside of him told him that there was nothing for him to be afraid of. Not anymore.

"Oh... kay?" Esplouge asked, staring at Tails with wide, almost pleading, eyes. "I... Nnnn...."

_My head feels like it's going to explode..._

Esplouge faltered again and this time, Tails ran to him and caught him before he could hit the ground. Esplouge was shaking all over, although it was impossible to see. Tails could feel it as he held the darker fox. Esplouge was shaking as if he were either freezing or...

_Frightened? Is he frightened about something?_

"Es...plouge...?"

"H- hunh?" Again with those large, pleading eyes.

_Tell me what you mean. Explain it to me._ Was what those eyes read. _I don't know what you're saying._

"I... Esplouge, are you okay?"

It just occurred to Tails what a miracle this was. If he wasn't hallucinating - which he highly doubted was the case - then he was holding Esplouge, _alive_, in his arms. Esplouge was alive.

_What were you about to say to me when Metal Sonic killed you?_

_Oh, sorry. Not "killed". Attempted._

_But you still had no heartbeat._

"Hunh?" Esplouge asked again. "Nnnn... I... I don't..."

_What on earth are you saying? Can't you explain that word to me?_

Esplouge wriggled out of Tails' arms and drew back. Tails stared at him, confused.

_Esplouge... is frightened? Of me?_

"Esplouge..."

"Why do you keep saying that?" Esplouge asked, finally able to put a full sentence together.

"Why do I keep saying what?"

"That word."

"What word?"

"The... The weird one."

Tails was confused for a moment.

_Wait. He doesn't mean...?_

"Esplouge?"

Esplouge nodded.

"Y- yeah, that one. Why do you keep saying it? What does it mean?"

"It's... It's your name."

_Oh god, he can't even remember his own name, Shadow's amnesia-prone genetics are finally catching up to him..._

"I have a name?" Esplouge asked, almost seeming to brighten up.

"Yeah. Don't you...?"

"That's good," Esplouge cut in, unaware he was interrupting Tails. "'Cause I don't have anything else."

"What do you mean?" Tails asked.

Esplouge approached him boldly, and for a moment, Tails drew back. However, he convinced himself that Esplouge was not likely to harm him and he was right. Esplouge only grabbed Tails' wrists.

"You seem to know me," Esplouge said, looking Tails stright in the eye. "So who am I?"

Tails hesitated for a moment, wanting Esplouge to let go of his wrists. There was always the chance that Esplouge could be faking he had amnesia. After all, he had all of Shadow's memories, so it wouldn't be too hard for him to mimic how Shadow had acted.

"I... What do you mean?" Tails asked.

"Who am I? I don't remember."

"You don't remember anything?" Tails asked. "Not even me?"

_If he's really not faking it..._

"No. You don't look familiar to me at all," Esplouge answered.

_... I finally have my chance to fix him._

"I... I don't know where to begin," Tails admitted. "I don't know _everything_ about you, but..."

"That's okay," Esplouge said, letting Tails' wrists go. "You can tell me what you _do_ know."

_But I don't want to. I don't want to bring back your memories and make you hurt people again._

"This... isn't exactly a good place to talk," Tails said, thinking of what could happen if Sonic or Shadow happened to pass by. It wasn't exactly unlikely; Sonic loved to run around here and Shadow tended to go here when he was avoiding people. And if either of the two - or god forbid _both_- then they would take advantage of Esplouge's situation and kill him.

_That is, suggesting he can actually die. He lived through an explosion, after all._

"Why not?" Esplouge asked.

"It's... It's dangerous here," Tails explained.

"Where should we go?" Esplouge asked.

Tails thought for a moment, but he already knew the answer. The only place they could go to where no one would come up and attack Esplouge was Tails' house.

"M- My house. It's safe there," Tails explained. "If that's okay with you."

Esplouge nodded slowly.

"If you'll tell me who I am, I'd be fine with going with you. As long as you promise you're not going to hurt me or something."

"Of course not! Why...? Did someone hurt you? Recently?"

Esplouge shrugged.

"Not that I remember. I'm just concerned. I don't even know who _I_ am, much less who you are. I don't really have a way to tell you're not lying."

_Esplouge, I would never lie to you..._

"Are you willing to trust me?" Tails asked. "I have no problem proving myself to you."

"Yeah. I can't do much else, now, can I?"

--

Esplouge and Tails arrived at Tails' house a few minutes later. Esplouge felt so out of place, as if he didn't belong in this now unfamiliar place. He didn't seem comfortable being in a room if Tails wasn't there with him.

"So my name is... Es... Uh..."

"Esplouge."

"Oh, right."

Tails and Esplouge were sitting at Tails' kitchen table. Esplouge was eating as much oatmeal and cereal as he could shove into his face, although that only made sense. After all, he used to have a habit of depriving himself of food.

_And sleep. He deprived himself of sleep._

Tails couldn't stop himself from glancing at the large dark circles under Esplouge's eyes. Had he ever had a decent night's sleep in his life? Granted he had only been alive for about a year, but still...

"And your name's Tails," Esplouge said through a mouthful of food. He swallowed before continuing. "Sorry. I'm just really hungry."

"It's fine," Tails said for what felt like the millionth time. "You never really ate all that much. It's good to see you eating."

_It's also good to see you alive after having your spine snapped in half, although I have a feeling you wouldn't take to that as well._

"And we used to be friends?" Esplouge asked, pushing the empty bowl away from himself, finally finished with scarfing down as much food as he could. "Is that why you know so much about me?"

_("You're my... My friend, right? You're my best... est little... friend.")_

"Uh... Yeah, we were friends. You told me a lot of things about yourself."

_While I was sitting, or probably pinned to a wall, you always did like backing me into walls for whatever reason, oh, and you'd usually be cutting me and screaming at me that you want me to burn in Hell or something to that extent._

"Like what?" Esplouge asked.

"Like..."

_What can I tell him that won't bring back memories? _

Tails felt guilty. Here he was, practically lying to Esplouge in the hopes that he would never remember who he had once been. All so he could remodle Esplouge into a nicer person.

_Although this is going to be hard to explain to the others. And keeping him away from the red chaos emerald is going to be hellish._

_The red chaos emerald..._

_("Drop the emerald, or I'll have to hurt him."_

_Shadow tossed the emerald toward Esplouge, who immediately dropped Tails and ran. He stood awkwardly at the end of the hallway, staring at the emerald as if it was the devil himself._

_"That wasn't funny! You could have...!")_

_He seemed to be afraid of the red emerald..._

"You told me about the things you were afraid of."

"Like what?" Esplouge persisted.

"Like..."

_("I'm afraid of seeming weak and pathetic. I'm afraid of having to rely on others, and I'm also afraid of Shadow killing me. I'm afraid of fire and anything associated with it. I have fears that I try to keep hidden, and one of them is admitting I have them in the first place!")_

"Fire. You said you were afraid of fire."

_That's kind of true..._

Esplouge seemed to be taking mental notes.

"Have I ever been burned by something?"

"Why?" Tails asked, a little confused.

"Did I ever have a bad experience with fire, or was I scared for no reason? There had to be a reason, right?"

_Yeah, but not one I can tell you. I barely know anyway._

"You never told me why," Tails said finally. "But I'm sure you had a good reason."

"I see... What was I like?" Esplouge asked. "Was I brave or was I more of a coward?"

_... I would say brave, but you have used me as a shield numerous times..._

"Uh... You were kind of in the middle. It depended on the situation."

_If it was me and you, one on one, then you were technically brave. But as soon as Shadow and Sonic were attacking you, you'd hide behind me or threaten to hurt me. So you were a coward at those times, although I never would have said that to your face because you would have probably slit my wrists for that..._

Esplouge nodded.

"Was I a nice person?"

Tails felt tears well up in his eyes, although he had no idea why. It was a simple question, although the answer was going to be a lot more complex.

_You were created to kill people. You killed your creator, you murdered Cream, and you killed at least a dozen humans the first time you came around. You used to cut me and scream at me and threaten my life and the lives of everyone I cared about and make me cry and..._

_...And comfort me when I needed it the most, and understand how I felt, and you were so sensitive, I could feel it, and you tried to reach out for help once when you asked me to hack into that disc for you, which I guess was a good thing, I think I still have that disc somewhere, I should really look for it, although I don't think I want you to see it anytime soon..._

"Tails?"

Tails startled, not expecting his thoughts to be interrupted. Esplouge was staring at him seriously, although nothing in that face suggested the usual sadistic nature it had displayed a month ago.

"Was I a nice person, Tails?"

"You... You sometimes did bad things, but you were _always_ good on the inside," Tails answered.

_I always thought you were, anyway..._

"You were a good person."

Esplouge seemed concerned.

"What kinds of bad things did I do?"

"You... You and my other friends used to fight a lot. You never got along."

"Do you think I'd get along with them better now that I don't remember them?" Esplouge asked.

_Well, you're proabably not going to kidnap me or make another attempt at Shadow's life or hurt Amy, so..._

"I think they'll like you better now. You were.... More aggressive before. You've calmed down a lot."

Esplouge nodded to say he understood.

"So, when will I meet them?" Esplouge asked.

"I'm not sure. We weren't exactly expecting..."

_... you to come back to life._

"What? What weren't you expecting?"

Tails looked to Esplouge nervously, knowing that if he were in the same situation with him say a month ago, Esplouge would be close to snapping his neck.

"Nevermind. It's nothing. It's just.... You... You left to go somewhere far away, so we weren't expecting you to be back."

_I guess that's not too much of a lie._

"I see."

Esplouge stood up and Tails automatically flinched, his reflexes telling him he was about to be hit. Esplouge just stared at him, confused.

"I'm tired. Is there somewhere I can sleep?"

"Oh... Sure."

Tails got up as well, feeling silly for thinking Esplouge would hit him, and he led Esplouge to the guest room that Sonic usually occupied.

_Thank goodness Sonic isn't staying here right now..._

Esplouge laid down on the bed, seeming content. He looked so normal curled up under those blankets.

"You won't leave me, will you?" Esplouge asked.

"Hunh?"

"I... I don't want to be alone."

_Is that why he never slept? Was he uncomfortable with being alone when he slept?_

"Why not?" Tails asked.

"It just... Seems weird," Esplouge answered, honestly not sure why he felt the way he did. "Can you stay here with me? At least until I fall asleep?"

Tails grabbed the chair in front of the desk and set it down next to Esplouge.

"Of course I will," Tails answered sweetly.

Esplouge rolled over to face the window. He fell asleep almost immediately, which didn't surprise Tails in the least. Esplouge had kept himself extrermely sleep deprived in the past. The sleep would be good for him.

Tails left after a few minutes, feeling uncomfortable watching Esplouge sleep.

_If only he came back at night. Then we could have..._

Tails pushed the thought out of his mind before it could go any further. He strolled down the stairs, walking slowly with thought. It really _was_going to be hard for him to tell everyone else that Esplouge was back.

_Oh shoot, I forgot, Sonic never called. I should probably call him and make sure he's okay._

Tails picked up the telephone, dialed, and held it up to his ear. It rang a couple times, but was eventually answered.

"Hello?" came Sonic's voice.

"Hi, Sonic. It's me."

"Tails? I'm surprised you called."

"Why? You didn't call me like you usually do and I got worried."

"I thought you'd want me to leave you alone," Sonic explained. "You _have_ been pretty irritable recently."

_How do I tell him that Esplouge is good now?_

"Tails?"

"Hunh? Oh... yeah. Sorry. I've just been.... A bit preoccupied lately."

"You're thinking about _him _again, aren't you?" Sonic asked.

"Who?"

"Esplouge. You really need to move on, Tails."

_He's asleep in my spare bed. I don't need to move on. He's still alive, but how do I tell you that?_

"I... No, I don't. He should have burned up in that explosion a year ago, and if that hadn't worked, he should have been crushed to death when his base collapsed. But he still came back after that."

"Do you really think that'll happen again?" Sonic asked skeptically.

_It _has _happened again._

"Yes, I do. After all, his body went missing. Who would want to take away his body?"

"Tails, I think you're being too hopeful. If he was still alive, don't you think he would have come back by now?"

"He... What if he came back and he was nice?" Tails asked.

"Where the heck did that come from? He was even _more_ psycho when he came back before. If he's still alive - which I highly doubt - I don't think he'd be any safer."

"But... What if... I'm speaking hypothetically, but what if he came back and didn't remember who he was?"

"Tails, what the heck...?"

"Would you guys give him another chance? I promise he's better now, I... I mean, I think he'd be better if he was still alive, I'm being hypothetical and..."

"Tails?"

"Hunh?"

"You're a very bad liar."

"I... I don't know what you mean."

_Oh shoot, oh shoot, now he's going to come over here and he's going to try and hurt Esplouge and..._

"He's with you, isn't he?" Sonic persisted.

"He...."

_I can't lie to Sonic..._

"Yeah. But I swear he's totally different now! He can't even remember his own name and...!"

"_**Tails!**_"

Tails flinched at the sound of Esplouge's voice. He didn't sound angry or anything, it was just frightening to hear him screaming so loudly. Esplouge sounded frightened for some reason, as if he were being assaulted.

"Tails, what...?"

"H- hold on, Sonic...."

Tails set down the phone and ran to Esplouge, nearly tearing the door off of it's hinges as he entered the room. Esplouge was curled up in a ball, sitting up. He was shaking uncontrollably.

"Wh- where were you?" Esplouge asked.

"What do you...?"

Esplouge jumped out of the bed and held Tails' upper arms almost threateningly. Tails flinched at his touch.

_Oh no, he remembers everything, I knew this was too good to be true, and now he's going to kidnap me again and torture me and..._

"_Where the hell were you?!_ I... I just woke up and you weren't here! Do you have any idea how scared I was?!"

"H- hunh? I... I was just downstairs..."

"But you weren't _here_! I... I thought you said you wouldn't leave me..."

Esplouge loosened his grip on Tails' arms. Tails retreated a step, concerned that Esplouge would hurt him.

"I... I didn't leave you. I'm still here, Esplouge."

Tails wasn't able to bring himself to look Esplouge in the eye. The thought that Esplouge would hurt him wouldn't leave, although he doubted it would happen. Esplouge was _different_ now, for the better. He was friendly, there was no way he would hurt anyone.

Or, at least, Tails hoped.

But past experiences won over this line of thinking, and that scared the hell out of Tails. If Esplouge regained his memories, nothing would be able to stop him from acting as he used to do. Everything would start all over, and Tails was absolutely _paranoid_ that that was going to happen.

"Did I do something bad, Tails?" Esplouge asked. He began to approach Tails but quickly stopped himself. He wasn't sure, but something told him that Tails wanted to keep his distance. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry."

"You... You weren't bad, Esplouge. I'm just..."

_I can't tell him I'm scared of him. He thinks we were friends..._

"It's okay. Do you want to go back to sleep?"

Esplouge flinched as if something lashed out at him.

"N- no. I think I'll wait for a while to try that again."

_Why'd he flinch?_

"A- Are you okay...?" Tails asked.

"Y- yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. I just... I _really _don't want to be alone."

He stared at Tails for a moment before continuing.

"So, what were you doing?"

"What?"

"When you were downstairs. What were you doing?"

_Oh crap, I left Sonic on the other line of the phone..._

"Shoot... I was talking to someone, actually. I should probably..."

"Someone else is here?" Esplouge asked, seeming concerned.

_I can't hear anyone else..._

"N- no. I was talking on the phone."

Esplouge nodded to show that he understood. He and Tails went downstairs together and Tails picked the phone back up, noticing his hands were shaking.

_There's nothing for me to be afraid of, so why am I shaking so badly?_

"S- sorry about that, Sonic."

"What the hell was that about?" Sonic asked from the other end.

"Esplouge... Got scared for a minute. But he's better now."

Tails looked to Esplouge who was currently sitting on the couch, watching him intently. Tails suppressed a shudder and returned his focus to the phone.

_Crap, he's giving me that same look he would give me before..._

"Your voice is shaking," Sonic pointed out. "It sounds like something a little more than 'he just got a little scared' happened. Did he hurt you?"

"N- no. He didn't hurt me."

_Although I was pretty sure he would when he grabbed me like that..._

"He just got a little scared. Honest."

"I'm coming over."

"Wh- what?!"

"I'm really uncomfortable knowing _he's_ there with you. I just want to make sure he won't hurt you."

"B- but he's... He's not going to..."

Tails stole another glance at Esplouge, who stared back with a confused expression.

"I'll be there in a couple minutes," Sonic said. "Just to make sure he's not faking it."

"B- but...!"

Sonic hung up before Tails could argue any further. Tails glared at the phone and hung it up.

_Why doesn't he trust that I can take care of myself?_

"What was that about?" Esplouge asked. "I couldn't really hear him, but you seemed unhappy about something."

"Uh.... Remember when I told you that you and my other friends never really got along?"

"Yeah."

"One of them is coming over right now."

"Oh. Should I leave...?"

"No! I... I mean, you'd be safer if you stayed here..."

_'Cause if Shadow or Metal Sonic found you..._

_Actually, as far as I know, Metal Sonic dropped off the face of the earth. He hasn't shown his face since he 'killed' you..._

"It's just... I don't really know how he'll react to seeing you. He really wasn't expecting to see you again."

_Except for maybe in a nightmare..._

"Is he going to hurt me?" Esplouge asked.

"I don't think so. Why would you ask that?"

"You don't _think _so? So you're not sure?"

"You and him _really_ didn't get along..."

"Why?"

"Uhm... I... I'm... Not sure how to answer that."

"Why?"

Esplouge approached Tails. Tails retreated, but Esplouge matched his steps until Tails was backed into the wall.

_Oh god, oh god, he's got me against a wall like he always used to do and now he's going to..._

"Why are you so scared?" Esplouge asked, keeping his voice monotone. "Why do I scare you?"

"I... I..."

_He's going to cut me again, he's got to have some sort of trick up his sleeve, he's doing the kind of thing he would have done before even though he's not aware that he's doing it, and..._

Tails was shaking uncontrollably without noticing. Esplouge just stared at him, seeming indifferent to his fear.

"How am I doing this? How am I scaring you, Tails? I'm not doing anything bad, am I? Am I, Tails?"

"D-d-don't..."

"Don't what? I'm just talking to you, Tails. Just tell me what I'm doing and I'll stop."

Tails couldn't help but remember some of the times where Esplouge had seriously hurt him; all of those times occurring after backing him into a wall. He couldn't help but remember how terrible Esplouge's fury would get, even though he continually tried to tell himself it wouldn't happen anymore.

The doorbell rang suddenly, startling both Tails and Esplouge. Tails slipped past Esplouge and ran to the door to greet Sonic.

"Where is he?" Sonic asked impatiently.

"S- Sonic, I told you already..."

Sonic pushed Tails aside and entered, glaring furiously the moment he saw Esplouge. Esplouge retreated, not sure what he had done to anger the hedgehog so badly.

"Sonic, he doesn't remember..."

Sonic had Esplouge pinned to the wall in an instant, looking as if he was about ready to punch the fox. Esplouge flinched, not sure what was going on or why it was happening.

"If you so much as _think_ about harming Tails in any way, _any way at all_, I will kill you in the most violent way I can think of."

"Wh- what?" Esplouge asked, staring wide eyed at the furious hedgehog.

_I... I would never hurt Tails..._

"You heard me, you little bastard." Sonic was beginning to find it increasingly difficult to keep his voice down. He punched the wall next to Esplogue's ear to make his point clear. "I wouldn't hesitate. I'd just go and kill you."

"Sonic, he doesn't remember anything!" Tails exclaimed, trying to pull Sonic away from Esplouge. "He hasn't done anything wrong, not that he can remember anyway. Leave him alone!"

Sonic's hands closed around Esplouge's throat, causing the fox to shriek with the last gasp of breath he was allowed. Esplouge struggled but didn't fight back; he just took it like Tails would have taken a beating from him a month ago.

_We're more alike than I thought..._

_Crap, I have to do something about this!_

Tails managed to pull Sonic away. Esplouge immediately hid behind Tails, not wanting to be suffocated again.

"Wh- What'd I do?" Esplouge asked. "You didn't even give me a chance to speak!"

"I see through you, you little bastard," Sonic growled. "I am _not_ going to let you hurt Tails again."

"H- hurt?"

Esplouge looked at the fox he was hiding behind and noticed some of the scars from when he had cut him. Of course he didn't remember how the scars had gotten there, but context helped him assume what the situation was.

"Tails, did I really hurt you?" Esplouge asked. "Why would I do that? You're so nice to me."

"I... Sonic, you're really not helping."

"I'm just trying to make sure..."

"Sonic, he's doesn't remember _anything_!" Tails yelled. "What part of that is too difficult for you to understand? He doesn't remember hurting you or me or anyone else, _he doesn't even remember his own name!_"

"How do you know he's not faking it?" Sonic challenged. "Kind of like what he did when he burned down Amy's apartment complex, which, I might add, innocent people _died_ in."

Esplouge's eyes widened. He had _killed _people before he lost his memory?

"I... Esplouge..."

"He's even using you as a shield like the coward he is. He hasn't changed a bit, he's just waiting for an opportunity..."

"Shut up!" Esplouge yelled. "Tails is the nicest person ever, why are you upsetting him like this?! He's helping me remember things like my name and that I was afraid of fire and stuff and he gave me food and he gave me a place to sleep and he's my friend and I care about him! Leave him alone!"

"Try saying that to my face," Sonic challenged. "You coward."

Esplouge began to take a step toward Sonic, but Tails stopped him.

"Can both of you just stop arguing?" Tails asked. "Seriously Sonic, if he actually remembered anything, we'd know by now. You both need to calm down."

Sonic sighed.

"You know I'm just worried..."

"There's nothing for you to be worried about. Can't you give him a chance? For me?"

_("Wh- when you and... And Gamma were fighting, you trusted Amy's judgement... Why can't you trust mine?") _

Sonic glared at Esplouge but nodded.

"Fine. I'll give the little bastard a chance."


	2. Sleepwalk

It had been decided that Sonic would be staying with Tails and Esplouge until he felt he could trust Esplouge. Esplouge had been concerned about this, believing that Sonic only wanted to attack him while Tails wasn't around, but he found a way around it. For the next few days, while Sonic was staying with them, Esplouge wouldn't leave Tails' side for any reason. If he was always near Tails, he would be safe from Sonic, because Tails would defend him.

"So, what are the sleeping arrangements going to be?" Sonic asked.

"What do you mean?" Tails asked.

"I mean, between _him_ and I, who is getting the guest room, and who's getting the couch?"

Sonic shot a glare at Esplouge, although Esplouge ignored it. A glare was preferable to a punch.

"Well... Esplouge, where would you be comfortable sleeping?"

Esplouge flinched upon hearing the word 'sleep'.

_Again with that flinch..._

"Uh... C- can I sleep near you?" Esplouge asked, glancing nervously to Sonic.

"Well, there _is_ a couch in my room..."

"Hell no!" Sonic exclaimed. "There's no way I'm letting him sleep anywhere near you!"

Esplouge flinched from the volume of Sonic's voice.

_Why does the noise hurt so much?_

"Sonic, you said you'd give him a chance," Tails scolded. "He's scared and confused; I don't see any problem with him sleeping in my room just tonight."

Sonic withheld his urge to snap Esplouge's neck.

"Fine. But if I hear _anything_, I'm dragging him out of there."

"Where's your room, Tails?" Esplouge asked.

"It's..." Tails pointed to one of the upstairs doors and Esplouge nodded to show that he understood.

"And when... When will we be going to sleep?" Esplouge asked.

"Probably around nine or ten. Sonic might stay up a little later, but..." Tails trailed off. He looked to his clock and saw that it was now around four in the afternoon. Only five or six more hours, and then he could be asleep, collecting his thoughts, and hiding from Sonic's complete hatred of Esplouge.

"And how long do we have to sleep?" Esplouge asked.

"About.... Well, I usually sleep about five or six hours, but you probably need a little more than that."

"Why?"

"Because... You didn't sleep as much as you should have. Before, I mean."

"Why?"

_("Sleep? What a waste of my time. Why waste away the hours doing nothing when I could be claiming innocent lives?")_

"I'm not sure. You never told me."

Esplouge appeared confused, but he didn't question any further. He had decided that Tails was trustworthy enough that his words could be taken as an absolute truth.

--

It was around eleven at night. The sleeping arrangements had gone as planned; Sonic was in the guest room while Esplouge was on the couch in Tails' room. Tails, of course, was in his own bed. Sonic had gone to sleep not too long after Esplouge and Tails had retired for the night, and by now, Esplouge was the only one who was still awake. He laid there on the couch, staring at the dark ceiling, his mind racing with random thoughts that he couldn't keep up with.

_Was it always like this? Did my mind always race with these thoughts?_

He figured that must have been the case. But why did his mind do that to him? Didn't his mind understand it was painful to have a million thoughts a second, all racing in and out so quickly he could hardly keep up?

A flash of red suddenly entered his mind. It was gone as quickly as it had come, but it had been such a brilliantly bright red that he had caught it amongst the raging sea of thought that was in his head. But what did this strange red colour mean? Was it something significant, or was it just more of the trash that was going through his head?

_What things are red?_

_Blood is red._

"Wh- what?" Esplouge asked out loud, keeping his voice low. He looked to Tails and saw that the smaller fox was still asleep. But they were the only two people in the room. If Tails hadn't said it, who did?

_I'm... hearing things that aren't there... I guess. Tails said sleep deprivation can do that sometimes. I just need to get to sleep as soon as possible._

_But the last time I slept..._

He blocked out the thought. Tails had been right; all he needed was a good night's sleep.

--

Midnight.

Everything was a haze. The air seemed thicker somehow, as if it was smothering him with an invisible blanket. Everything around him was moving, shifting at least slightly, even the things that should not have been moving.

But this somehow seemed alright to him. It seemed familiar, as if it was what had been the norm to him in his past life. Everything had an air of calm, despite the smothering and despite the impulsive urges that consumed him, trying to get him to do things he just couldn't see himself doing.

_I have to hurt something..._

The thought was slow somehow. His thoughts had slowed down with the wakefulness of the night. Everything seemed slower, which was nice to him. Everything that had seemed too fast was now moving at a pace he could understand and keep up with.

But what was it in him that wanted to hurt something so badly?

_It's been so looong..._

_How long? Since what?_

He found himself having arguments in his own head, as if rational thought and insane impulses were battling in his brain.

_It hurts so baaad..._

_No it doesn't. I'm not in pain._

_I have to go __now__!_

_But I can't leave. I'll wake Tails up, and he looks so... content._

He stared sleepily at Tails for a few moments, feeling some sort of joy overcome him. Tails looked so content, so sweet...

_So vulnerable._

Esplouge shuddered.

_Vulnerable? Something could hurt him?_

_Don't think too hard about that. Tails wouldn't like that._

_What do you... I... mean? Why wouldn't Tails want me to... To... What.... What were we... I... Was I thinking about?_

_We... You... I..._

His thoughts somehow seemed to be mocking him.

_... Want to go into the kitchen._

_I'm not that hungry._

_There are other things in the kitchen besides food._

_Like what?_

_I'll remember when I get there. I need to just go._

_But I'll wake Tails up..._

_No I won't._

Esplouge took one last sleepy look at Tails before slinging his legs over the edge of the couch and sitting up. He paused almost hesitantly before finally standing and walking, as if in a trance, outside of the room.

He managed to get down the stairs without Sonic or Tails noticing he was even awake.

_What am I looking for?_

_Oh, I'll see in a moment._

Everything around him seemed distorted somehow, as if this was not reality but a dream. Yes, it had to be a dream. That was why he felt as though he were walking on air; because he was still laying down. He had just fallen asleep without noticing. Yes, that had to be it.

He walked through the opening to the kitchen and stopped.

_Won't Sonic get mad at me if he catches me awake?_

_This is a dream, remember? He can't do anything to me in a dream. I'm safe._

_I'm safe..._

With those thoughts, Esplouge wandered further into the kitchen and found what he - or maybe his subconscious - was looking for; a shard of glass. He picked up the glass carefully, unsure of what it was.

And yet a part of him knew exactly what it was and exactly what to do with it, and it was _that_ part of him that was in charge.

He lightly slid the glass across his wrist, hardly enough to tickle much less cause him pain. He slid the glass again, harder, still not breaking the skin.

_Fuck me. I want to hurt me._

He dug the glass deeply into his arm, causing himself a hefty amount of pain, and he whined slightly. He dug the glass again, causing himself even more pain, and he felt a scream escape his throat, although by now he wasn't sure if the scream was inside or outside the dream or if he was really dreaming at all.

_It hurts, it hurts, __it fucking hurts__!_

He dug the glass into his arm again, unable to stop himself from repeating the motion again and again and again and...

And then Tails was shaking him, screaming for him to snap out of it, and in another instant, he felt himself clinging to Tails and sobbing, despite the pain in his arm. The object he had used to carve his arm open with was lying, bloodied, on the ground, but it wasn't glass at all; it was a knife.

"_What happened?!_" Esplouge screamed. "_It hurts, it hurts!!_"

"Calm down... C- Calm down, Esplouge..."

"What the hell...?!"

"Sonic, go get some bandages!" Tails called.

"But what...?"

"_Just do it!_"

Sonic ran off to do as he was instructed, leaving Tails and Esplouge alone on the kitchen floor.

"Are you okay?" Tails asked, holding Esplouge's tearful face gently in his hands.

"I... What happened?" Esplouge asked between sobs.

"You were sleepwalking."

"S- Sleepwalking?"

Tails pulled Esplouge into a comforting hug. Esplouge rested his head against Tails' chest and quickly noticed his heartbeat. Tails' heart was fast, just like his own. Tails was frightened as well, yet he had remained so calm about it. Just knowing that relaxed Esplouge. It made him feel as though Tails would protect him no matter what.

Sonic came back a moment later with the bandages and Tails immediately got to work covering up all of Esplouge's wounds.

"How long do I have to wear this?" Esplouge asked after Tails was finished.

Tails stifled a yawn.

"Probably a couple days, although we'll need to clean them out so they don't get infected."

"What the hell was that, exactly?" Sonic asked.

"I told you already, he was sleepwalking," Tails explained for what felt like the millionth time. "He wasn't aware that he was doing it, although I'm surprised he didn't wake up sooner."

Tails seemed to consider his own words for a moment.

"Then again, I'm not exactly a sleep expert, and the unconscious mind is a little complex..."

"_A little_?" Sonic asked. "He almost cut to the bone! Without realizing it! That's a little more than _complex_, if you ask me."

Esplouge winced at the volume of Sonic's voice.

"Sonic, quiet down," Tails ordered. "You're only making him feel worse. And if you call him a psychopath again, I'm kicking you out."

Sonic, who had indeed been intending on using the word 'psychopath' to describe Esplouge, merely shrugged and started out of the room.

"You might want to hide all of the knives so this doesn't happen again," the blue hero suggested. "'Night."

"B- but Tails... It wasn't a knife while I was hurting myself," Esplouge explained. "I didn't see a knife."

"You could have just seen it as something else," Tails offered. "After all, you _were_ asleep."

Tails stood and offered a hand to help Esplouge stand as well. Esplouge accepted it and in a moment, the two were heading back to Tails' room.

"Do you think you can get to sleep tonight?" Tails asked gently.

Esplouge looked to his feet.

"I'm scared. I... Can I... sleep... closer to you? So you can protect me?"

Tails smiled comfortingly, knowing that if this had been a month ago, the question would have had a different (and most likely a more dangerous) meaning. Esplouge was so sweet now, so innocent. It was a nice change to finally see Esplouge calmed down, even though this night was certainly one he wouldn't forget for a long time.

"Of course," Tails finally answered. "You know I'll protect you from anything that could hurt you."

--

Esplouge was still awake after Tails had gotten to sleep. Tails was right next to him and that in itself was comforting. Tails was near enough that if something terrible were to happen, like another sleepwalking episode or Sonic trying to murder him in the night, Tails was right there to protect him. He stole a glance at the sleeping fox, noticing the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

_He looks so small..._

Esplouge held back the urge to touch Tails' chest, to feel him breathe, figuring he would only wake Tails up.

_He looks so nice when he's asleep. So calm._

_I wonder if he's having a dream..._

Esplouge shuddered at the thought. Dreams or nightmares, it was all the same to him. It was all something the mind created to keep you entertained while you slept, but it was all fake. Nothing in a dream or nightmare was real, but it tried to _be_real. It tried to convince you it was real, and if you gave in to it completely, sacrificed yourself to it...

_... Then you have a sleepwalking episode and you nearly cut your arm in half._

Esplouge looked to the bandages on his arm. The red blood had already strained them, although it wasn't leaking through. At least not yet.

_But I don't want to get my blood all over Tails' nice bed..._

Esplouge rolled over uncomfortably and let his battered arm hang over the edge of the bed.

_... But it'll only drip on the floor..._

_Calm down. Tails said that you... I could sleep in here with him, and he was the one who bandaged me, so he must have been expecting something like that to happen._

_Something like what?_

_Something like your blood getting all over his sheets and blanket. Maybe all over him._

_Why would my blood get on him? I'm on my side and he's on his side._

_People move in their sleep, remember?_

_... I don't want to sleepwalk again. It's scary._

_That wasn't what you said before._

_What? What are you... I... What am I...?_

_Oh, give it a rest. You and I both know that this thought and the one you just had are not being generated by the same consciousness._

_Wh- what?!_

_I've always been here, Esplouge. _

_N- no. I'm just asleep. You're not real._

_Denial? Fine then. See if I care. You'll remember at one point or another._

Esplouge waited for the conversation in his head to continue, but it didn't. He finally allowed his eyes to close and he drifted off into sleep almost instantly, this time into a dreamless sleep that he would remain in for the whole night.

Or so he thought.

Esplouge had remained asleep for quite a long time. Sonic had woken up and was out on his morning run, and Tails had woken up and left the room after the first few minutes. Esplouge was all alone in the room, and when he woke up, his instinct was telling him to react to the dream that he shouldn't have had. He screamed as loudly as his voice would allow, fully awake, and luckily forgetting bits and pieces of the nightmare he had just endured.

Tails was in the room in an instant, holding Esplouge, trying to calm him down. Esplouge did after a moment. The screaming ceased and for a moment, he seemed to fall back asleep.

"I'm sorry, Tails."

"For what? You haven't done anything wrong, Esplouge."

"B- but...!"

It was no use; he couldn't remember how the dream had gone. But he knew that - at least in the dream - he had done something bad. But he could have sleepwalked again, and if that happened...

"Esplouge, it's okay. You just had a nightmare. It's okay."

_Why does he keep having bad experiences with sleeping? This is really bad for his psyche..._

"B- b - but I... I... I know I d- did something.... I had to have..."

"No, you didn't. You've been asleep. Sleep is good for you."

"_I nearly cut my arm in half last night!_" Esplouge lashed out suddenly. Tails retreated. "_How the hell...?!_ How...? I'm sorry, Tails, I didn't mean to scare you. I keep screwing up, I'm so sorry."

Esplouge approached Tails, but when he noticed Tails retreating, he stopped.

"Maybe I should go back to wherever you said I went to before," Esplouge said, a part of him understanding exactly what those words meant to the frightened fox in front of him. "I don't want to keep scaring you like this."

"N- no! You... You're not doing anything bad. We're both just tired."

_That and you're probably slightly insane from the lack of sleep you went through before..._

_... How much sleep has he been getting since his body vanished?_

"Hey, Esplouge... When... When did you first wake up?"

"Hunh?"

"When you first noticed you couldn't remember anything. When was that?"

"Yesterday morning. Why?"

_That's really weird... What was he doing for the month he's been gone?_

"No reason. I was just curious."

This answer did not satisfy Esplouge.

"Why were you curious?"

Tails shrank back again. Esplouge's voice had sounded cold, much like it had a month ago.

_He's nice now, he's nice now, he isn't going to hurt me..._

"I... I don't know."

"Why ask the question if you don't know why you want the answer?"

"I... I don't know..."

Esplouge approached Tails, who retreated. Tails had been backed out of the doorway and was now leaning against the railing of the staircase.

"Why don't you know?" Esplouge asked emotionlessly.

"I... Esplouge, you should stop, Sonic's going to be back any minute."

Esplouge lashed out and grabbed Tails' wrist. Tails yelped partly from shock and partly from pain. Esplouge wasn't exactly handling him gently.

_You little fuck, I'm going to kill you right here and..._

Esplouge let go of Tails' wrist suddenly and now found it impossible to look at him.

_I'll stab you to death, if the slice to your sweet little throat doesn't..._

_**Shut the fuck up!!**_

"N- no..." Esplouge muttered under his breath, looking at the floor. He began to crouch down and he held is head as though he was trying to hold it together.

Or as if he was trying to stop something from coming out.

"I... I don't..."

"Esplouge?"

"I d- d- didn't..."

_**I didn't just think that!!**_

Tears were flowing swiftly down Esplouge's cheeks and onto the carpet. He felt as though he would collapse at any minute, but he knew that he couldn't let that happen. He had to stay strong to make Tails happy.

"Esplouge, are you okay?" Tails asked quietly, almost afraid of somehow inciting the rage that had, at previous times, followed such sadness.

"What the hell's his problem?" Sonic asked rudely, just coming in from his morning run. "Too much non-violence for his taste?"

"Sonic, stop it. He doesn't remember..."

"What'd I do?" Esplouge asked suddenly, still crouched on the floor. "Why am I so sad? I... I don't know...!"

Tails tentatively laid a comforting hand on Esplouge's shoulder, startling him.

"You haven't done anything bad. You're a good person. You're just tired. Last night was a bit rough, but today's a new day."

Esplouge looked into Tails' eyes, trying to hold back his own tears. Something about those sky coloured eyes was just so comforting...

He finally stood back up, although his legs were shaking slightly.

"Should we have food now?" Esplouge asked, looking toward the kitchen.

_(... And then I walked into the kitchen and found the gla... knife... and then I...)_

Esplouge blocked out both the thought and the memory. The kitchen would look a lot different during the day, he figured.

Tails and Sonic led Esplouge to the kitchen. Sonic and Esplouge sat at the table while Tails made food. Esplouge sat rigidly, staring fixedly at his interlaced fingers that laid neatly on the table in front of him. He had no desire to talk to Sonic, and the fact that Sonic was close enough to throttle him before Tails could react....

But he pushed that out of his mind.

"So what the hell were you crying about?" Sonic asked, keeping his voice low enough that Tails wouldn't hear.

Esplouge didn't even look at him.

"I know you can hear me," Sonic said after a minute, still keeping his voice low. "Why were you crying?"

_I was thinking about hurting Tails..._

"It's none of your business," Esplouge muttered, barely loud enough for Sonic to hear.

"If you _ever_ want your little alone time with my friend again, you'll tell me why you were crying."

"He's my friend, too. Besides, why do you want to know so badly?"

Sonic stole a glance at Tails to make sure he wasn't listening.

"You really wanna know?"

"Want to know what?" Esplouge asked.

"Why I keep calling you a psychopath and why I don't trust you. Don't you want to know that?"

_He's just trying to start a fight. He wants Tails to hate me, but I'm not going to fall for it._

Esplouge glared coldly at Sonic.

"I don't want to hear it."

"Why not? Do you have some stray memories you haven't told us about?"

Esplouge pretended to not hear him.

_(... And then I tied her up and she was screaming and I cut her, I cut her over and over and I was laughing, I was laughing...)_

Esplouge pushed the dream out of his mind. He couldn't remember the rest of it and as the seconds went by, he was forgetting more and more detail. He knew that part of the reason he had cried had been because of the dream, but he had no desire to talk to Sonic or to describe the parts of the dream he _did_ remember.

_(And she was bleeding all over from where I had cut her and she was crying and I was surprised she wasn't already dead, and I laughed when her salty tears flowed into her wounds and made her scream more and I couldn't stop, and...!_

_And how wonderful I thought her screaming was.)_

"Well?" Sonic asked, jarring Esplouge from his thoughts.

"What?"

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you have any memories you haven't been telling Tails about?"

"No," Esplouge answered simply. "The first thing I remember ever happening to me was waking up and meeting Tails."

Sonic appeared skeptical, but before he could so much as open his mouth, Tails came up behind them with a plate of pancakes. Tails set the plate down on the table between Sonic and Esplouge, quickly following up with more plates, forks, butter, and syrup.

"Tails, there's only two plates," Sonic pointed out. "Don't you think Esplouge should eat, too?"

Esplouge glared at Sonic, failing to see the blue hero's lame attempt at humor.

"Actually, I'm not that hungry," Tails explained.

"You have to eat _something_," Sonic objected.

Esplouge speared a few pancakes onto his fork and drowned them in syrup, completely overlooking the butter.

"Sonic, really..."

_("He's taking away who you are.")_

Tails could remember those words from somewhere, but certain details escaped him. He remembered it was something about someone telling him that he had done something - although now he couldn't remember what it had been - that reminded the speaker of Esplouge. But where he had been and who had said the sentence that had crossed into his thoughts he couldn't recall.

_But why did that even go through my mind in the first place? Esplouge is..._

It was true that Esplouge was better now, although there was a seed of doubt in Tails' mind that Esplouge would remain that way forever. And, he realized, the thought had crossed his mind because, as Esplouge would have done a month ago or a year ago, Tails was refusing food that he admittedly needed.

_But I'm not hungry..._

"How about toast?" Sonic offered. "You need something in your stomach."

"You can have mine," Esplouge offered, pushing his plate toward Tails with a childlike awkwardness.

"What?" Both Tails and Sonic were confused, but only Tails gave voice to it.

"If there aren't enough for all three of us, you can have mine. I don't need to eat."

"Don't need to...? Why would you say that, Esplouge?" Tails asked, concerned.

_Is it because he's an experiment, because he's too sophistocated to require food and sleep and he shouldn't even remember..._

"I had a lot of food yesterday," Esplouge explained, pushing his plate closer to Tails. "I think I'd be okay if I skipped _one_ meal today. But you never eat very much."

Tails looked at the plate of drowned pancakes in front of him and shook his head.

"No, thanks. There's enough food for all three of us, but I'm really not that..."

"Why would you make food for three when you _knew_ you weren't going to eat?" Sonic challenged. "Just eat one pancake. It'll make us all feel better."

Tails sat down, scooted Esplouge's plate back to Esplouge, and grabbed a pancake of his own. He nibbled on the food, which was enough to satisfy Sonic and Esplouge. As the two went back to eating, Tails couldn't help but be impressed. Even after all of the history between Sonic and Esplouge - which, of course, Esplouge couldn't remember - and despite all of the anger Sonic still felt for Esplouge, the two had just worked together. Sure, it was for something trivial, but the fact that they had agreed on something and had worked together to accomplish the same goal...

It made things seem brighter for Tails. As though it wouldn't be impossible for him to ease Esplouge into his circle of friends after all.


	3. Amy

After the three had finished breakfast, Tails decided to try to plan out a way he could reintroduce Esplouge to everyone else without freaking them out. He figured reintroducing Esplouge to more than one person at once was out of the question, especially after seeing how Sonic had reacted. One person at a time would be easier to control, and now that he had Sonic there to help him...

"I still don't trust him," Sonic explained, jarring Tails from his thoughts. Tails quickly looked up to see if Esplouge had noticed and saw to his relief that Esplouge was in the corner of the room and reading a book, drowning out the world just as he had been for the past half hour.

_I never knew he liked books so much..._

"I know, I know... And I'm sure the sleepwalking episode didn't help. But we can't just keep him here like he's a secret. He's going to need to go outside sometime, and I'd feel better knowing that no one would attack him if we got separated. So we need to reintroduce him to everyone."

"I wonder how Shadow's going to take this," Sonic wondered out loud. "And Metal Sonic. Speaking of whom, have you heard _anything_ from that robot?"

"No. It's like he just dropped off the face of the earth. But I think I'd prefer reintroducing him to friendlier people first, like Amy or Crea..."

Tails cut himself off, reminding himself that Esplouge had murdered the young rabbit a month ago.

_("Her blood tasted so delicious. Pure. But she died so quickly. Didn't even put up a challenge."_

_"Did you like her?")_

Tails could still remember the shock and anger he had felt when Esplouge had told him that Cream was dead. Tails could still _feel _the shock and anger, but he forced it back, telling himself over and over that Esplouge would never do something so horrible ever again.

_Esplouge isn't like that anymore. He'd take it back if he could._

"Amy's probably the only one who won't try to kill him. Well, her and Rouge. Maybe Knuckles too?"

Sonic shrugged.

"Maybe. We might as well start with Amy. After all, we just have to let her know I'm here and she'll come running."

"Yeah, you're probably right... So should you call her, or should I?"

Sonic held out his hand for the phone. Tails handed it to him, hoping Sonic wouldn't say anything that included calling Esplouge a psychopath or warning Amy to stay away. Sonic dialed Amy's number and held the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" came Amy's voice.

"Hey," Sonic greeted. "Tails has something to show you. Do you think you can come over?"

"Well, I was planning on going shopping today... Is it important?"

Sonic looked to Esplouge almost thoughtfully.

"Yeah, it's important. It's not urgent or anything, so you don't have to be here right away. Although I'm planning on leaving soon, so if you wait too long you might miss me..."

"No! I... I mean I'll be there as soon as I can. Bye, Sonic."

Sonic said his farewell and hung up the phone, handing it back to Tails.

"Piece of cake," Sonic said.

"You made it sound like I made some amazing discovery or something," Tails said. "I think the fact that Esplouge is here is going to take her by surprise."

"It's fine. It's not like she'll have a heart attack, Tails. Lighten up."

Tails stole another glance at Esplouge.

"How are we going to let him know Amy's coming? I really don't want to interrupt him..."

"We can just let her come while he's reading," Sonic offered. "After all, he actually looks somewhat not homicidal while he's reading, so she might take it better. What's he reading anyway?"

Tails shrugged.

"I don't know. He just picked it up off of my bookshelf and started reading it. I don't keep any books on crime or anything, so I figured it would be okay."

"What about any journal entries about the stuff he did to you?" Sonic asked, lowering his voice so Esplouge wouldn't hear. "Do you keep anything like that around?"

"No. I never wrote any of that down."

"Okay. What about that glass shard you kept? Do you still have that?"

Sonic was referring to the shard of glass that Esplouge would have killed Tails with a month ago if Metal Sonic hadn't come. Tails had kept the glass as a way of remembering Esplouge. Sonic hadn't approved of it, but at the time, arguing with Tails just seemed cruel. It seemed crazy that Tails would care so much about Esplouge, but if keeping a shard of glass was his way of coping, Sonic couldn't argue. Besides, it wasn't like Tails would hurt himself or anyone else with it.

"Yeah, I still have it," Tails answered. "I don't exactly display it to the world, so he won't find it unless he turns the house upside-down."

Sonic found that acceptable. At least Tails wasn't trying to "reintroduce" Esplouge to the glass.

_Reintroduce him to the...?_

"This just popped into my head, but what did you say Esplouge saw last night?"

"What?"

"You mentioned something about Esplouge not seeing the knife as a knife," Sonic pointed out. "What did he see it as?"

"Why...? Do you think he saw it as glass?"

"I think it's possible. After all, he has to have at least some kind of suppressed memory in that deranged little head of his. So, _did_ he see it as glass, or...?"

"He didn't tell me," Tails answered. "He just said it hadn't been a knife while he was cutting himself with it."

Tails looked to the telephone that was still in his hand.

"When is Amy coming over?"

Sonic shrugged.

"Probably soon. I think I was rather convincing, don't you?"

--

Amy was at Tails' house within the next twenty minutes. When she got there, Esplouge was still reading his book and wasn't aware that anyone was coming over. Sonic let Amy into the house while Tails remained close to Esplouge in case Amy tried to get a little revenge for Esplouge burning down her apartment complex and cutting her face with a shard of glass.

_Although she lives in a much nicer __house__ now, so she really shouldn't be too angry with him... Even though he did burn up everything she owned after cutting up her face..._

_At least the cuts are mostly healed._

"So what did Tails want to show me?" Amy asked, blushing at Sonic. "Or did you just want an excuse to have me over?"

Sonic rolled his eyes.

_She'll never get over this little crush, will she?_

"No, he _really _had something to show you," Sonic said, leading the pink hedgehog into the room where Esplouge was still reading. "Some_one_, actually."

"Someone?" Amy asked, confused. "Who?"

Amy saw Esplouge and opened her mouth to scream, but Sonic covered her mouth, muffling everything she said. She pushed Sonic away and turned to him angrily.

"How the hell is that little creep still alive and _why the hell are you standing there so calmly while that psychopath...!_"

Sonic covered her mouth again.

"Can you give us two seconds to explain?" Sonic asked, noticing that Esplouge was staring at them with a confused expression on his face.

"How the hell...?"

"Look, we don't know why or how he's still alive!" Sonic exclaimed. "And we would ask _him_, but seeing as he's still relearning his own _name_, I think that question might be a little too hard for him to answer."

"He doesn't even remember his own name?" Amy asked, looking to Tails for confirmation.

Tails nodded.

"He doesn't remember anything," Tails explained. "He barely remembers who I am, and I'm sure he doesn't remember who you are."

Esplouge was staring at Amy, looking scared for some reason.

_Why do I want to hurt her?_

_Oooohhh... She looks way too much like that girl in my dream...._

_All I remember is cutting her... And the screaming... God her screaming was loud..._

"Esplouge?" Amy asked, jarring the dark fox from his thoughts.

"Wh- what? Wh- who is she, Tails?"

"Uh... This is Amy, Esplouge," Tails explained. "You knew her before."

This made Esplouge uncomfortable.

_I knew her? Then why would I want to hurt her? Why... Why would I want to hurt anybody?_

_Oh shit. Is she going to try to hurt me like Sonic did?_

"She's not going to hurt me like Sonic did, is she?"

"Of course not," Tails explained. "She's... less violent than Sonic..."

"I'm not violent, I just...!"

"You know what I mean," Tails cut in, turning his focus back to Esplouge afterword. "It's okay to talk to her, you know."

Esplouge looked to Amy, blushing slightly.

_Is he just nervous, or...?_

"Uh.... H- hi..." Esplouge greeted, looking at the back cover of the book he had been reading. He noticed his bandaged arm and tried to suppress the sleepwalking episode from entering his conscious thought.

_God, that gla... knife... felt so good. I want it in my throa..._

_No I don't!_

"What are you reading?" Amy asked, noticing the book in Esplouge's hands.

Esplouge handed the book to her and when she saw what it was, she grew confused.

"Why are you reading the dictionary?" Amy asked bluntly.

Esplouge shrugged.

_She looks exactly like that girl in my dream..._

"I'm sorry..."

"Why?" Tails asked. "You were just reading a book. You can read the dictionary if you want to."

Esplouge shook his head.

"Should I read something else?" Esplouge asked, directing his question to Amy.

Amy handed the book back to Esplouge, flinching when he outstretched his hand to take it.

_Get a hold of yourself, girl. He isn't going to try to kidnap me or anything like he did before..._

_What are the bandages for?_

"No, you can read the dictionary if you want to," Amy explained. "It's just so boring. I would have thought you'd be reading something more interesting."

"Did I like interesting things?" Esplouge asked, confusing Amy.

"He means before he forgot everything," Sonic explained. "And the answer is... 'yes', I'm assuming. You weren't exactly a boring person, Esplouge."

"So should I read something else?" Esplouge asked again. "I really like this book."

"For the third time, you can read the damned thing if you want to," Sonic answered. "We're not going to tell you what you can and can't read."

"So he doesn't remember anything?" Amy asked, directing her question to Sonic and Tails.

"Nope," Sonic answered. "Not a thing. He's actually kind of a wimp now."

"Well, I guess that's a good thing," Amy said. "At least we don't have to worry about him kidnap..."

"_Don't remind him of that!_" Tails exclaimed. Everyone in the room flinched and stared at Tails. "I... I mean... That's not exactly...."

_Don't make him remember, don't make him go back to being a sadistic monster whose only goal in life is to kill people and drink their blood and create mass hysteria and..._

"Don't remind me of what?" Esplouge asked, sounding almost hurt but at the same time, almost completely indifferent. "I thought you were helping me remember everything...?"

"W- well, that's not exactly a good memory... The one she was about to..."

"But I still want to know. Why are you hiding it from me?"

_I don't want you to remember everything and go back to hurting me and my friends, I don't want you to know why Sonic keeps calling you a psychopath, I don't want you to hurt people anymore..._

"It's not exactly... Well, I guess it's important, but..."

"But _what_? I thought you said you'd help me remember, Tails!"

Tails was finding it increasingly difficult to argue with Esplouge. The way Esplouge was speaking sounded too similar to how it had sounded before when he had been unhappy about something, which generally led to an act of violence.

_Esplouge is better now, he won't hurt me or threaten me or Amy, Sonic's here to protect us..._

"Esplouge, do you remember yesterday when I told you I'd kill you if you did anything to hurt Tails?" Sonic asked. "That offer's still up."

"But I'm not hurting him!" Esplouge exclaimed defensively, completely forgetting about Tails. "I'm just asking him questions. You never said anything about that, Sonic."

Sonic dashed over to where Esplouge was, causing the fox to flinch.

"S- Sonic...!" Tails called, concerned the blue hero was going to hurt Esplouge.

"Do you really want to argue with me?" Sonic asked, ignoring Tails. "After all, I could always snap your neck if you gave me a reason to do so."

Esplouge shrank back into his corner and hid pathetically behind his book, pretending to continue reading it.

"You're scaring him, Sonic," Tails said, coming between Sonic and Esplouge. "He has a right to ask those questions. They _are_ about him, after all."

"I... I don't want to know anymore," Esplouge stuttered. "I don't even remember what I was wondering about. It's fine."

"I think I'll go shopping now," Amy said, trying to change the subject. "Do any of you want to...?"

Sonic was out the door and halfway across the city in an instant. Tails, Esplouge, and Amy just stared.

"Uh... How about either of you?" Amy asked.

"Do you want to go with her, Esplouge?" Tails asked.

Esplouge stared at Amy for a moment.

_Why is he looking at me like that?_

"Sure. Will you come too, Tails?"

"I guess so..."

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," Amy explained. "It was probably a stupid question anyway."

"B- but I want to go..." Esplouge muttered.

"You can go," Tails explained. "I'd prefer to stay home so I can work on something, but the two of you can hang out for the afternoon if you want to."

Esplouge and Amy both agreed, so they left Tails to complete his work in peace.

--

As they walked through the mall, Esplouge made sure he held Amy's hand so they wouldn't get separated. Amy was creeped out at first, but after a while she realized that Esplouge was just like a child that wanted to hold his mother's hand for comfort. She began to view it as being sweet and the fact that Esplouge could help her carry everything she bought back home...

"Why are there so many people here?" Esplouge asked disdainfully.

_I feel like I can't breathe... Like all their bodies are piling up and the only supply of air is being cut off and oh god, I can't breathe, I can't breathe!_

"It's a mall," Amy explained simply. "A lot of people like to come here."

Amy looked at Esplouge's face and noticed how scared he looked.

"They're not going to hurt you, Esplouge," Amy explained comfortingly. "They just want to shop. Besides, I'm here to protect you, so you have nothing to worry about."

"Y- you'll protect me from them?" Esplouge asked hopefully. "You mean it?"

"Of course. I promised Tails I would protect you while we were here."

Esplouge looked to his feet.

_Is that all?_

"Oh. Okay, then."

"Why do you sound so sad all of a sudden?" Amy asked.

"You only want to protect me so Tails will be happy with you," Esplouge explained. "So if you hadn't promised him you would protect me, how would you be treating me right now?"

"Well, I'm the one that asked you to come, so I guess I'd be obligated to protect you if something were to happen. So I'd be treating you about the same."

_Sheesh, he sure is paranoid now. I guess it's better than before, though..._

"Cheer up, Esplouge," Amy continued. "Come on, let's get some ice cream. I bet that'll cheer you up."

Something inside of Esplouge perked up, although he wasn't sure why.

"Ice cream?" he asked. "What's...?"

Before Esplouge could finish his question, Amy was dragging him halfway across the mall to the kiosk that sold ice cream cones. Amy got both herself and Esplouge chocolate ice cream cones, figuring she couldn't go wrong with chocolate. Esplouge licked the cold treat tentatively at first and decided he loved it.

"This is the yummiest thing ever!" Esplouge exclaimed happily.

Amy giggled, humored by Esplouge's childish happiness.

"We should come here again sometime," Amy said. "And maybe we could bring Tails and Sonic next time."

"Yeah!"

For the rest of their trip to the mall, Amy bought copious amounts of clothing she didn't need and Esplouge kept himself content with his delicious ice cream.

--

Amy and Esplouge returned to Tails' house a few hours later with bags upon bags filled with clothing that Amy had bought. Tails couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Esplouge struggling to carry four extremely heavy looking bags.

"I think I overdid it with the shopping," Amy explained. "Do you think you could help us carry all this stuff back to my house?"

Tails took two of the bags that Esplouge had been carrying, for which Esplouge was very thankful.

"Of course. It'd be torture to have Esplouge carry all that."

The trip to Amy's house took another thirty minutes out of the day, but Tails and Esplouge were both thankful for it. Tails had been needing to get out of the house, and Esplouge was happy with making a new friend. When they arrived at Amy's house, they set the bags down, said their farewells, and were back at Tails' house in another half hour.

"We had fun, Tails," Esplouge explained for the trillionth time. "She got me this yummy stuff called ice cream and then we walked around and looked at stuff. And she bought most of what she looked at."

"I'm glad you had fun."

"What were you doing all day?" Esplouge asked with interest.

"Mostly cleaning. Some of your blood leaked through the bandages and onto my sheets, so I had to clean them."

_You cleaned up my mess?_

"I'm sorry. I should have stayed to help you, Tails."

"No, it's okay. Blood stains aren't too hard to get out of stuff, and you sound like you had a lot of fun today..."

"But you didn't," Esplouge pointed out. "I want you to be happy. We should do something fun tomorrow. Maybe we could hang out with Amy. She's a lot nicer than Sonic."

_That's only because the history between you and Sonic isn't exactly sunshine and daisies. Then again, Amy's experiences with you haven't exactly been wonderful, either, but she's a lot more trusting than Sonic._

"Speaking of Sonic," Tails began, "I'm surprised he isn't back yet. I thought he said he'd be staying here for a _few_ nights, not just one. I hope he's okay."

"Why do you say that?" Esplouge asked. "Why wouldn't Sonic be okay?"

_I didn't sleepwalk and hurt him, did I?_

_No, I've been awake all day, and I've been with Amy all day. I didn't do anything bad. I couldn't have done anything bad._

_I'm not bad..._

"Well..."

Tails was cut off by Sonic letting himself into the house. Both Tails and Esplouge automatically turned to face Sonic.

"Where have you been?" Tails asked. "It's a little late for you to be returning from a short run to avoid having to hang out with Amy for the day."

"I just had something to take care of," Sonic replied simply. "I'm actually kind of tired. Is it alright if I go to bed a little early?"

"Y- yeah," Tails replied a little unsurely. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

_You're acting a little weird..._

"Yeah," Sonic replied, starting up the stairs. "Everything's great. 'Night."

"I'm sleepy, too," Esplouge said after a moment. "When are we going to bed?"

Tails looked to his clock and saw that it was almost nine thirty.

"Soon," Tails replied. "I'm tired, too. Uhm... Do you think you'd be okay with sleeping.... somewhere else?"

"Hunh? Wh- why?"

_Oh no, I did something bad, what did I do, can I at least try to fix it? I didn't mean to do something bad, honest..._

"Sonic doesn't want you sleeping near me."

"B- but what if I sleepwalk and hurt myself with the gla... _knife _again?" Esplouge asked. "I don't..."

"_What?_"

Esplouge flinched, taken aback by Tails' sudden interruption.

"Wh- what?"

"You saw the knife as glass?" Tails asked, almost sounding frantic.

"Y- yeah. Didn't I tell you?"

"No."

"Oh. Is... Is it bad that I saw it as glass?"

_Considering you used to use glass to hurt people, that's probably a bad sign. But I don't want to worry you or remind you of anything bad, so..._

"N- no. It's... It's fine. But you're definitely sleeping near me tonight. So you don't sleepwalk again, I mean."

Esplouge seemed puzzled but pleased by this response.

"You'll wake me up if I hurt myself again, won't you?" Esplouge asked.

"No. I'll wake you up _before_ you get a chance to do that. I promise."

Esplouge smiled and started up the stairs, ready to sleep through the night without any sleepwalking episodes or disjointed nightmares. All he wanted was to fall asleep next to Tails, knowing that they were both safe from harm.

--

Midnight, and Esplouge was still awake.

_You know, with mental struggles like these, Esplouge, you might as well give in._

_I don't know what you're talking about._

_Exactly! You can't even understand your own past, so why are you worthy of living in the present?_

_... Because Tails says I am._

_Oh, is that your answer for everything now? You were so much more interesting to argue with when you were still you._

_What do you mean?_

_I mean you were so much less pathetic before. You were bold and uncaring. Sociopathic, some would say._

_'Sociopathic'? What do you mean? I'm not antisocial..._

_You were before._

_But Tails said he has always been my friend. Sociopaths don't have friends._

_You believed him? Ha! He's not your friend. He's trying to change you into a different person. He's lying to you so you'll do whatever he says without question. He wants you as his own personal marionette._

_You're lying! Tails cares about me, he's not using me like some puppet!_

_I can feel you going back to that dictionary every time I use a word you've forgotten, like "sociopath" and "marionette". That was why you were reading that stupid thing, right? So you could remember the words you couldn't remember? Or maybe reading it just made sense to you. There's no story, no plot... Only disjointed words and phrases, sometimes appearing as though they are unfinished, filling page after page, divided into exactly twenty six chapters; one for each letter of the alphabet. Although you won't be seeing many words and phrases in the 'Q' and 'X' chapters, seeing as those letters are used fairly infrequently, but I digress..._

_Why would you say that?_

_Why would I say what? Weren't we talking about the dictionary?_

_No. You started talking about it after claiming that Tails was only using me as a puppet and that I should slit his..._

Esplouge felt his entire body tense up.

_You seem startled. You do realize I never mentioned anything about harming that boy you're supposed to be sleeping next to. You thought of killing him all on your own._

_No, I didn't. You told me to right after... right after..._

_I never told you to kill the boy._

_Yes you did! Why would I want to hurt him?! He's the nicest person ever!_

_What are you more frightened of? Admitting that you had such a horrible, sociopathic thought, or that the thought actually arouses you?_

_What?_

_Admit it, Esplouge. You want nothing more than to hold him in your arms and slit his throat. Then you want to lick his sweet, sweet blood, and then..._

_Shut up! I would never do anything like that to Tails or to anyone else! That's disgusting!_

_That was who you were before, Esplouge. Are you saying you were disgusting?_

_What the hell are you talking about?_

_..._

_**Tell me!**_

_... It's time for you to go to sleep, Esplouge. You wouldn't want to sleep in too late. Tails would worry about you if you stayed in bed until noon. You don't want to worry your sweet little Tails, now, do you?_

_... No..._

_That's a good boy. Now close your eyes and fade away into sleep..._


	4. Truce

Esplouge awoke from a mercifully dreamless sleep. When he glanced at Tails' clock, he saw that it was almost three thirty in the morning, but he didn't mind being awake at such an early hour. He had gotten a little sleep, and his unconscious mind hadn't wandered back into the dark place it tended to retreat to. He laid there for a moment, staring at the ceiling absent mindedly, until he heard the sound of something falling. The sound was actually fairly quiet, although the suddenness of the sound startled him. Why would something randomly fall at this hour of the morning? Esplouge immediately took it upon himself to discover what the sound had been, so he hopped out of bed and peered down the stairs. It was a little hard to see in the dark, but he could just make out Sonic's silhouette picking something up and replacing it to the spot it had fallen from.

"S- Sonic...?" Esplouge asked quietly, trying to be as quiet as possible so as to not wake up Tails. He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

_One of us deserves to get some sleep..._

"What?" Sonic asked, more startled than confused. He knocked whatever the object from before was over again, cursed under his breath, and replaced the item yet again. He looked in the direction of Esplouge's voice, although it was impossible to spot him until Sonic noticed a slight movement.

"Esplouge, what the hell are you doing awake?" Sonic asked distrustingly. "Or are you going to pretend to be sleepwalking again?"

"I just woke up," Esplouge explained, ignoring Sonic's comments. "I've been having trouble sleeping. What are you doing awake, Sonic?"

"It's none of your business," Sonic explained defensively. "If you couldn't sleep, why'd you come down here? I thought you liked to be around Tails all the time."

_Just like the complete freak you used to be..._

"I heard you drop... whatever that thing is," Esplouge explained, pointing to the thing Sonic had knocked over. "It really stuck out against the quiet. I just wanted to make sure nothing bad had happened. Uhm... Are you just returning from somewhere? You look like you just got back from something..."

"Why do you say that?" Sonic asked suspiciously.

"Well, you sound a little tired, like you've been running for a long time. You're taking deep breaths, too. And you're shivering a little even though it's warm in here. Is it cold outside?"

"How the hell can you notice all of that?" Sonic asked. "How on earth can you even see me? I can't see a damned thing..."

"Really? I can see you quite clearly. There's mud on your shoes, by the way. I can see the little tracks of mud behind you. I don't really think Tails is going to be too pleased when he sees that you've tracked mud all over his floor. You really should help us clean it up when it's easier to see."

"You're a freak."

"What?" Esplouge asked, his voice lowering from hurt. "Why would you call me that? I don't call you bad names."

"You've done worse than call me bad names," Sonic explained venomously. "You've done worse than that to everyone you know."

"I can't even remember any of that," Esplouge defended. "It's not fair to use those things against me. Seriously, do I still act like I did before? Tails told me that I'm better now. He said I'm nicer. And I'd prefer it if you'd at least insult me with something I can remember doing."

"Does that include or exclude your little sleepwalking episode?" Sonic asked cruelly.

"What do you mean?"

"That's something you did recently," Sonic pointed out. "So can I use that against you? Because you know what? You could have and probably would have hurt more than just yourself if Tails hadn't woken you up so quickly."

Esplouge's eyes narrowed.

"I didn't hurt anyone but myself during that. You're just making up things to be angry about. Why can't you just give me a chance? Amy didn't seem to want to at first, but we got along well. She took me shopping and she helped me to not be scared. When she got over whatever it was I did in the past and decided to give me a chance, she and I got along great. You and I could probably be the same way, if you'd just give me a chance. You're being completely unreasonable..."

"Shut up."

"Hunh?"

"I said shut up," Sonic repeated. "Jeez, you're just like how you were before. You still don't know when to shut the hell up."

"... I'm just trying to explain myself. You know, to state my opinion and why I think that way. Are you so close-minded you can't even humor me by listening to me talk for a minute or two? I just want to be your friend, Sonic."

"_What?_"

"You heard me. I want us to be friends. Tails speaks highly of you when he and I talk. I just want to keep the peace and to see the same person Tails sees when he looks at you. I think it's fairly clear by now that I do not intend to harm him or anybody else."

"After all the shit you've put me and everyone else through... Do you really think it'll be that easy to earn my trust?"

"I can not remember what I did before. I apologize for anything bad I've done, but Tails doesn't seem to want me to remember any of that for some reason. But I'm still sorry for hurting you guys, even though I can't remember any of it."

"Why doesn't Tails want you to remember your past?" Sonic asked, suddenly seeming interested.

Esplouge shrugged as a response.

"I don't know. You should ask him when he wakes up."

Esplouge stifled a yawn.

"I think I'm gonna try and go back to sleep. 'Night, Sonic."

--

Tails woke up feeling a pressure on his chest. He was so tired, his eyes refused to open for a few moments. He became slowly aware of the fact that some of the pressure was distributed to his stomach and around his body.

_What the heck...?_

His crystal blue eyes opened and he immediately saw that Esplouge was laying on him, staring down at him with an unreadable expression.

"Es... Esplouge?"

"It's time for you to wake up, Tails."

Tails tried and failed to suppress a shudder. Esplouge's voice was cold and dark, just as it had been a month previous. All of the childlike innocence he had acquired from losing his memory seemed to be gone. Esplouge sat up on Tails' stomach, surprising Tails with how light he was.

"It's already nine thirty. You should be awake now."

"Es- Esplouge...?"

Tails' blood felt like ice. He was terrified for his life.

_B- but I thought Esplouge had gotten better, why would he go back now, why on earth...?_

"I've been awake for _hours_," Esplouge continued. "I got so bored, so I tried to think of fun things we could do together. Don't you wanna do something _fun_?"

"L-l-like what?" Tails asked, his voice shaking uncontrollably from fear.

_N- no, he couldn't have possibly gone back to how he used to act, I must be making all of this up in my head, I'm just stressed, we're both just stressed, there's nothing for me to worry about absolutely nothing..._

"You know. _Fun_ things. Like going on a picnic. Or baking a cake. I found this really _yummy_looking cake recipe in one of your cookbooks. Do you wanna make a cake with me? I bet it'll turn out really _yummy_. And we can share it with Sonic and M... _Amy_... and any of your other friends you wanna introduce me to..."

_Why did I nearly call her "Miss Rose"?_

_"Miss Rose"...? That's not familiar..._

_That's not familiar._

Esplouge's eyes suddenly appeared more eager and gentle. He had done a complete 180, something he had done quite often before he had lost his memory. Tails somehow found himself even more frightened than he had been before, feeling as if Esplouge was on the edge of remembering everything and the slightest push...

Or maybe it was all in his head.

"So, do you wanna make a cake with me?" Esplouge asked again, his voice suddenly sounding more friendly. "Doesn't that sound like it'll be fun?"

"Y- yeah... Hey, where's Sonic?"

_You haven't killed him... right?_

_Oh, how could I even think that? He's so nice now. That.... Earlier.... Was just.... In my head.... R- right?_

Esplouge shrugged.

"Downstairs, I guess. He's mad at me."

"Why?"

"I heard him get back really early this morning. I asked him where he had been and stuff, and he got really mad at me."

"That's... weird. Maybe I should go talk to him about it."

"Yeah... He likes you better than me. I'm sure he'll talk to you about it."

"Okay, then."

They waited in silence for a moment, staring at each other intently.

"Uh... Can you get off of me?" Tails asked finally.

"Hunh? Oh..."

Esplouge did as Tails asked, seeming confused that he had been there in the first place.

_I don't remember... I thought I was sitting next to him... Wasn't I?_

He watched Tails leave the room, waited a moment, then sat down on Tails' bed. He appeared as though he were in pain.

_Christ, why does my head feel like it's going to explode?_

"It hurts..." Esplouge muttered, his voice shaking from his attempt to hold back tears. He laid down, curled up tightly as if to protect himself from something. He wrenched his eyes shut as tightly as he could. Images of something glowing and red, something he couldn't readily identify, plagued his mind; and with those images came the most unbearable, burning pain.

_I can hear "him" laughing..._

_Who?_

_Him__._..

_Oh, oh Christ, it hurts, it hurts, it..._

He felt a tear slide down his face and couldn't help but feel angry at himself for being so weak. Something inside him suddenly couldn't stand the thought of being weak.

"It hurts..."

--

Tails found Sonic sitting at the kitchen table. Sonic looked exhausted, as though he hadn't gotten any sleep the night before.

"Something wrong?" Tails asked.

"Having that freak in here's the problem," Sonic muttered, his voice slurred slightly from lack of sleep. He rested his chin on his arms, too tired to keep himself sitting upright. "I keep worrying he's gonna hurt you. I had another fucking nightmare about it last night."

"That's weird," Tails said as he sat down in the chair next to Sonic. "You know what else is weird? Esplouge told me you were out until early this morning. Where were you?"

"None of your business..."

"Sonic, it's _me _that's talking to you. Not Esplouge. Esplouge can't even hear us. Can't you tell _me_?"

"Tails, just... Just leave me alone, okay? I had a really shitty night last night and it feels like I haven't slept in days. I'm just too fucking tired for this."

Tails considered raising an objection but quickly decided against it. He reasoned he could always ask Sonic when he was more awake.

"Okay, then. Well, is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really."

"Do you think you should go to bed? You sound really, really tired."

"I can't," Sonic muttered. "That's the fucking problem. Every time I close my eyes, I see that little freak tearing out your guts or eating your heart. I have to be awake in case you need me to protect you."

"Sonic, you really need to give him a chance," Tails explained. "He really seems to want to be friends with you. Or, well, have a friendly relationship with you, at least. He's just as distressed as you are. Heck, he probably worries that _you_ want to hurt me."

"But I would never hurt you," Sonic defended.

Tails shrugged.

"He doesn't know that."

--

Esplouge was still curled up on Tails' bed.

_It hurts, it hurts, why the hell does it hurt so badly?!_

_It's not so bad. The pain is only temporary. Besides, pain is fun. Pain is good. Isn't that why you carved up your little arm the other night? Don't you want to do that again sometime?_

_No. You made me do that. Are you causing this, too?!_

_You don't have to blame me for every little mistake you make, Esplouge. I never made you do anything. I didn't carry you down the stairs and slip the knife into your hands. You did that all on your own._

_But... But why? And why did I see the knife as glass?_

Esplouge became aware that there was a burning sensation throughout his body. He twisted and turned, but the burning wouldn't go away.

_This is how you feel, Esplouge._

_What do you mean?_

_This is how you feel when..._

_When what? This is how I feel when what?_

"Esplouge...?"

Esplouge sat up immediately upon hearing Tails' voice. Tails grew concerned when he noticed how much Esplouge was sweating and how heavily he was breathing.

"Esplouge, are you okay?" Tails asked, concern filling his gentle voice.

"Y- yeah," Esplouge panted. "I'm fine. I just... I'm just... A little tired... That's all..."

"You look more than 'a little tired'."

"N- no, really..."

_I feel like I'm on fire..._

_Why do I keep seeing red...?_

"I... I'm fine, Tails. Do you have a gun? I'd like to blow my brains out now."

Esplouge now had a disturbing grin plastered on his face, but the _last _thing Tails could see in that grin was that Esplouge was joking. Esplouge was completely serious.

"Wh- _What?!_"

_He's gotta be joking, there's no way I heard him right, maybe he asked for gum and I misheard him because I'm so used to associating him with violence, yeah, that's gotta be it..._

"Oh, is that too messy?" Esplouge asked, grin still plastered on his face.

Tails was still in denial, but he became slowly aware that Esplouge's grin was hollow. There was absolutely no emotion behind it.

_Oh... Oh god, he looks exactly like he did before... I've gotta calm him down somehow. There has to be something I can do to stop him from doing anything like that..._

Esplouge tried to stand on shaking legs. Tails ran to him, tried to get him to sit back down, but Esplouge was determined to stand.

"How 'bout about fifty sleeping pills?" Esplouge asked softly. Sadly. "I've been having trouble sleeping anyway..."

"Esplouge, what the hell are you saying?"

"Please kill me, Tails," Esplouge whispered. He clinged to Tails for support and was attempting to whisper in his ear. "It hurts so bad. You have no idea. You have _no idea_..."

Tails wasn't sure how to respond to this.

_But... No, I can't lose you now, Esplouge. Not after all of this, not after everything we've been through. This won't be the end of all of that!_

"Es... Esplouge, c- calm down... It's okay... You just have a fever. I have some medicine for that, okay? You're going to be okay."

_How on earth did he get a fever so fast? He was fine a few minutes ago..._

"What's a "fever"?" Esplouge asked, disoriented. He fell onto Tails' bed, his balance finally failing him. His breathing suddenly grew faster as his temperature seemed to go up. "What's a "medicine"? What's a "you"?"

_I'm on fire..._

_What's a "fire"?_

"Es- Esplouge..."

_Oh no, he's disoriented, he's probably not even aware of what I'm even saying anymore, how the hell am I going to bring his fever down without letting Sonic know what the situation is?_

_... I can't believe I have to tip-toe around this kind of thing in my own house..._

"What's a "Esplouge"?"

Esplouge started sobbing all of a sudden.

"_Kill me, just fucking __**kill me damn it you little fuck!!**_"

Esplouge hands had lashed out. One was tearing into Tails' blanket and the other was tearing into Tails' chest. His thick claws dug into Tails' skin, drawing blood.

"Esplouge, please... Please calm down, please... S- Sonic might hear you..."

_Oh god, I can feel his claws in my skin, if Sonic comes in here now, he'll think Esplouge's doing this on purpose, how can I get him to calm down, Esplouge, why can't you just calm down, please calm down..._

"_**Shut up! Just shut up about him!**_"

_I hate him! I never want to hear his name again! Why the fuck can't you just understand that, Tails?!_

Esplouge had let go of Tails right as Sonic entered the room. He tried to cover his face with his arms, as if to block out the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. He was screaming, although the blankets were successful in muffling it a little bit.

"Tails, what the hell...?" Sonic asked, dazed. He wasn't quite sure how to read the situation.

Esplouge dug his fangs into his own arm, forcing out as much blood as he could. He began to claw at himself until Tails pinned him down and restrained his arms.

"Why do you hate me so much, Tails?" Esplouge asked between sobs. "I... I thought you were my fr... friend. Why can't you just let me die? I'm in so much.... _fucking_ pain... Why can't you just let me die?"

_Please, I've always wanted to die..._

_What am I saying- er, thinking? I don't really want to die..._

_Why can't I just stay dead?!_

_Hunh? What do you mean by that?_

_I want to fucking die!!_

"C- calm down..."

Tails began to cry. He couldn't stand to see Esplouge in so much pain, so much self loathing...

_Please, please just calm down, please calm down, I don't want to see you hurt, I can't stand to see you hurt, I really can't stand it, please stop being hurt, Esplouge..._

"_**Just let me fucking die!!**_"

Esplouge was screaming, cursing at Tails, trying to struggle out of the smaller fox's grasp, but Tails refused to let up. He couldn't handle seeing Esplouge hurting himself again.

"What the hell is going on?" Sonic asked, completey dumbfounded from the situation in front of him.

"Sonic, Esplouge really needs pain pills or sleeping pills or... I don't know. Can you get something to calm him down? Please?" Tails spoke facing away from Sonic. He didn't want Sonic to see him crying.

_I don't need to give him another reason to hate Esplouge..._

Sonic left the room without a word and returned a few moments later with a few pills and a glass of water in hand.

"Esplouge... Can you calm down, please?" Tails asked gently. "We're going to give you some pills to ease your pain, okay? You're going to feel better, I promise."

Esplouge stopped struggling, so Tails let him go. Esplouge just laid there while Tails placed the pills in his mouth and washed them down with water. Esplouge swallowed almost reluctantly and laid back down, completely hollow.

"Tell me you love me, Tails..." Esplouge muttered, completely unaware of what he was saying. He wasn't even looking at Tails when he said it. Tails knew it was just the sleeping pills talking, so it was an easy comment for him to ignore.

_That sounds like the kind of thing he would have said right before he started cutting me..._

_He doesn't remember any of that, though, so it's fine... Right?_

"Shhh... Go to sleep, okay? You'll feel better."

Esplouge nodded and almost immediately fell asleep.

"What the hell _was_ that, exactly?" Sonic asked.

"I'm... not sure..." Tails admitted. "He just... Freaked out."

"He hurt you," Sonic pointed out, noticing the fresh blood on Tails' chest.

"He... He didn't mean to... He was trying to hurt himself. I just.... Got in the way."

Tails looked to Esplouge thoughtfully, as if to make sure the darker fox was really asleep.

"How many hours worth of pills did you get him, anyway?"

"About twelve."

"_What?_"

"I'm shocked it even works on him, considering he's just an experiment and all. He's probably not going to be asleep for all twelve hours anyway."

"But... But that's dangerous! He hasn't even eaten anything today! What if he doesn't wake up?!"

"Then he'll be dead for a little while and then come back like he always does," Sonic muttered sleepily. "Besides, I need some time to crash, too. I told you I haven't been sleeping well lately..."

"But...!"

Sonic started out of the room.

"I'll try to wake up before he does," Sonic continued. "If I'm not awake before him.... Just wake me up, 'kay?"

"Okay..."

Tails watched Sonic leave the room and suddenly had a feeling of deja vu. He vaguely remembered Esplouge being asleep after maiming both of his arms and then Esplouge conveniently waking up when it was just the two of them.

_But he's really asleep this time. He'll be asleep for at least a couple hours..._

Tails covered Esplouge with the torn blanket, felt that his fever had gone down, and left the room, wanting to block everything out.

_I don't know how much more of this I can stand..._

--

Tails sat downstairs, reading a book, for the next few hours. Tinkering with his plane was very tempting, but he wasn't willing to risk Sonic trying to kill Esplouge in his sleep. So he simply sat on the couch, reading a book he had just grabbed off of the shelf, unable to focus on the words in front of his face.

_I can't believe Esplouge freaked out like that. That's definately not going to win any points with Sonic..._

_Maybe he just needs to get out more. Go somewhere where he doesn't have to worry about Sonic trying to hurt him... But where's a place Sonic wouldn't think of looking for Esplouge?_

His first thought was Amy's house because she at least knew the situation, although that thought was quickly cast aside. Esplouge had previously shown some sort of disturbing fascination with the pink hedgehog, so if Tails were to somehow manage to smuggle Esplouge out of the house for a while, that would probably be the first place Sonic would look.

_Who on earth would trust my judgement no matter what? Jeez, I can't believe I'm really thinking about this...._

_Knuckles is gullible enough to keep Esplouge safe with minimal questioning..._

_Oh, but what if Esplouge has another weird episode? Even Knuckles has his limits..._

_But I want Esplouge to feel safe..._

Tails set down the book he had previously been staring at and tip-toed upstairs so as to not wake Sonic. He couldn't believe he was actually considering sneaking Esplouge out of the house, but the desire to protect him was too strong. Something in him knew that Sonic was planning to hurt Esplouge.

_Or maybe I'm just getting paranoid about all of this. I mean, I haven't exactly been sleeping well, either, knowing there's an amnesiac psychopath sleeping right next to me..._

Tails shuddered, knowing that if it had been a month ago, Esplouge would probably be watching him sleep if they had been in the same situation.

_He's better now, he's better now..._

Tails felt weird having to sneak into his own room, but he didn't want to wake Esplouge if he was still asleep. He was shocked to find Esplouge awake and staring intently at the ceiling.

"Esplouge? How long have you been awake?"

"I slept?" Esplouge asked, not looking at Tails. His voice sounded a little cold, although that could have easily been attributed to him being tired. "All I remember is trying to sleep and failing. And then I just... blacked out. But I wasn't here when I blacked out. I was downstairs."

_Watching him sleep..._

"And now my head hurts like hell," Esplouge continued. "Like there's something growing inside of it... You know, like in sci-fi shows. Like there's a little alien parasite that's waiting to explode out of my skull. Do you know what I mean?"

_Esplouge knows about sci-fi movies? I don't remember showing him any..._

Esplouge rolled over to face Tails.

"Do... Do you need some headache medicine?" Tails asked. "I could get some for you."

"No, it's fine. I think it'll pass. I just... I'm a little tired, I guess. It's hard to sleep knowing Sonic might try to kill me in the night... I mean, there's other crap keeping me up, too, but..."

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" Tails asked.

"What? Like where? Amy's house?"

_He looks a little too eager to go there... No, maybe not. I'm just being paranoid._

"N- no. Somewhere Sonic won't think of looking for you. Uh... It'll also give me the chance to reintroduce you to someone you knew before, so..."

"Someone nice, or someone mean?"

"Uh... Actually.... He didn't know you very well, so I'm not sure how he'll react."

"Oh. But he doesn't hate me?"

"No."

"Okay, then."

Esplouge sat up and got out of the bed.

"So when are we going? Soon, right?"

"Y- yeah... But we have to be really quiet, okay? If Sonic wakes up..."

"He's still asleep? It's, like, noon."

"He hasn't been sleeping well recently."

"Oh. He's blaming it all on me, isn't he?"

"K- kind of. But we really need to hurry..."

"Why? Are we going somewhere far away?"

"No, it's just... I really don't know when Sonic's going to wake up, and if he sees us, he'll follow us, and that'll kind of defeat the purpose..."

Esplouge nodded in agreement. He followed Tails down the stairs and into his workshop where his plane was. Esplouge stared at the plane in awe.

"What's that?" Esplouge asked.

"It's my plane, the Tornado," Tails explained. "I built it."

"That's cool..."

Esplouge hopped into the passenger seat while Tails took the pilot's seat.

"But won't Sonic hear us leave?" Esplouge asked as Tails started the plane up.

"It's fine. Sonic's amazing, but he can't fly."

--

About a half hour later, the two foxes were on Angel Island. Esplouge stared at his surroundings in awe while Tails led him through the thick jungle.

"Oh, look at that thing!" Esplouge exclaimed, pointing out various large plants at once. "That's so neat... How do things like that grow so big, Tails?"

Tails couldn't help but find Esplouge's childlike amazement adorable.

_It's hard to believe this is the same person that kidnapped me a month ago..._

"I don't know. We should look it up sometime."

"Ooohhh...What's that...?" Esplouge asked, his voice suddenly calm.

The sudden calm sound of Esplouge's voice sent shivers up Tails' spine.

_Why on earth is he so calm all of a sudden...?_

Tails looked to what Esplouge was pointing at and saw the Master Emerald. Knuckles, who had been guarding the emerald as usual, took notice of them the moment Esplouge asked what the emerald was. Knuckles grew concerned when he saw that Esplouge was there, although some of that concern subsided when he noticed Esplouge didn't seem to have any harmful intention.

"Hey, Tails," Knuckles greeted, sounding as puzzled as he felt. He kept a wary eye on Esplouge as he talked.

_Esplouge and Tails? What's going on here...?_

"Hi, Knuckles," Tails greeted back. "Uh... I have a favor to ask you..."

Knuckles eyed Esplouge warily. Esplouge didn't even seem to notice, instead focused on the Master Emerald.

"What's he doing here?" Knuckles asked. "Didn't he die? Twice?"

"Apparently not... But... He doesn't exactly remember any of that."

"What do you mean?"

"I found him a few days ago. He has amnesia. And... Sonic doesn't exactly trust him yet, and both of them are having trouble sleeping. Sonic's too paranoid that Esplouge is going to kidnap or kill me in the night, and Esplouge... Well, he's never exactly slept very well, but the paranoia that Sonic's going to kill him in the night isn't exactly helping. So I was wondering if you could keep Esplouge here for a day or two. Just so he can catch up on his sleep."

"I already have the Master Emerald to guard, Tails..."

"But... Esplouge isn't going to do anything to harm the Master Emerald. He never even acknowledged it before..."

_He was only ever interested in the chaos emeralds... And me..._

Tails and Knuckles both noticed Esplouge standing in front of the Master Emerald, just staring at it. Knuckles looked about ready to punch him.

"I swear I'll kill him if he even _thinks_..." Knuckles began threateningly.

"He's not going to do anything to it..." Tails tried to explain.

"It's so peaceful..." Esplouge muttered. "It feels so..."

_Calm..._

Tails ran to catch Esplouge before he could fall. Esplouge felt surprisingly cold.

"Hi, Tails..." Esplouge said, his voice barely above a whisper. His breathing was abnormally shallow. "Can I stay here forever? I love it..."

"Can... Can you stand on your own?" Tails asked, trying to prop Esplouge up and drag him away from the emerald at the same time.

_What the heck's going on? He feels like a corpse..._

"What the hell...?" Knuckles asked. "I really don't think I want him near the emerald. He looks more like he needs to go to a doctor."

"N- no, really, he just needs some sleep... Please, Knuckles..."

Knuckles seemed unsure.

_After all the crap that brat's put us through..._

"He's not going to do anything weird, is he?" Knuckles asked suspiciously.

Esplouge tried to stand on his own. He still needed some support from Tails, but succeeded for the most part.

"Tails, my cuts hurt..." Esplouge complained, sounding like a normal little kid. "Can I...?"

"Cuts?" Knuckles interrupted, noticing the bandages that had somehow remained on Esplouge's arm over the past couple days. "What's he talking about, Tails? What happened?"

"Uh... He... There was a little... incident... He... uh..."

"He what?" Knuckles was beginning to sound impatient.

"I sleepwalked and cut myself with a knife," Esplouge answered bluntly, wanting to be as honest as possible. "But I didn't mean to. Honest."

"That's... a little... weird..."

_I didn't know Esplouge was like that..._

"B- but he really needs someplace safe to stay! Sonic won't find him here, and neither will Shadow or Metal Sonic..."

"Who're they?" Esplouge asked.

"Just for a night or two?" Tails asked, ignoring Esplouge entirely. "Please?"

Knuckles shook his head.

"Sorry. I really don't think I could handle him on my own. Besides, Sonic's an understanding guy. I'm sure he'll be able to trust Esplouge if they spend some time around each other."

Both Tails and Esplouge seemed disappointed by this.

"Okay, how about bringing him back in a few days?" Knuckles offered. "You know, if they get any worse with each other. You could both stay here if you need to."

"Okay," Tails agreed. "I guess that's better than nothing."

"We should probably get back soon," Esplouge said. "Sonic's going to be pissed if he sees that we're gone."

"Yeah..." Tails agreed. His attention then turned to Knuckles. "Well, bye."

"See ya, Tails."

--

Tails and Esplouge returned home another half hour later. As Tails expected, Sonic had heard them leave and had been spending the last hour completely flipping out.

"He could have killed you!" Sonic exclaimed. "What the hell could I have done then? I had no idea where you two were!"

Sonic was clinging to Tails as if letting him go would mean that he was gone for good. Tails understood how he felt, and Esplouge understood to keep his distance.

"We're both really sorry, Sonic... Right, Esplouge?"

Esplouge nodded, too scared to speak.

"Please don't do that again," Sonic continued. "Okay?"

Both Tails and Esplouge agreed. Sonic finally let go of Tails. Esplouge tried to sink into the background.

"I was only doing it to protect him..." Tails muttered. "You refuse to trust him, even though he's shown that he can be nice. Seriously..."

"He's shown in the past that he's a sadistic _lunatic_ that wants to kill us all," Sonic interrupted bluntly. "He's beaten the crap out of both me and Shadow on numerous occasions..."

"And he could have killed you guys when he did that, but he didn't," Tails pointed out. "Doesn't that count for anything?"

"He probably thought we were dead," Sonic countered. "Seriously, I'm shocked Shadow and I aren't suffering from severe head trauma or brain damage or something. And don't forget that he _did_ successfully kill Cream."

"But... But that's all in the past anyway," Tails argued. "He's so much better now! He still has some problems, I'll admit, but he's not homicidal anymore...!"

"How do you know that?" Sonic asked. "How do you know he isn't just waiting for me to leave so he can kill you without interruption?"

"Because..."

Tails glanced around, trying to find Esplouge, and realized that Esplouge was either gone or hiding.

"Where the heck did he go?" Tails asked out loud, not really directing his question toward anyone in particular.

"He's probably out trying to kill Amy or something," Sonic commented coldly.

"He doesn't even know where she lives..."

_Oh, wait. We did go to her house. Crap, crap, crap..._

_Sonic doesn't know about that, right?_

"Are you sure he doesn't know how to get to her house?" Sonic asked. "He always seemed to know where everyone lived before..."

"But she lives somewhere else now, and.... oh, why are we even talking about this? He probably just went to a different room."

"Why, so he can think of plans to kill us in peace?" Sonic asked with dark humor.

"No, I think he wants to get away from your negativity. Seriously, Sonic, you've been nothing but horrible to him since he came back. Can't you act civil for at least a day? For me?"

"Why should I?"

"He's trying to be nice to you, even though he knows you won't do the same for him in return," Tails pointed out. "Can't you treat him the way he's treating you? Just for a day or two?"

Sonic sighed. He couldn't help remembering a similar conversation with Tails from a month ago, when he had been asking Sonic to trust his judgement.

_Damn it..._

"I _really_ don't trust him..."

"Please, Sonic..."

_Damn it all..._

"Okay, fine. I'll try to be nicer to him. Will that make you happy?"

"Yes, it will. Now, we should probably start by looking for him..."

"Where do you think he'd run off to? You know him better than me anyway..."

"I'm actually not sure," Tails admitted. "I know the old him a lot better than the new him, although that's really not saying much... He couldn't have gotten far, though. Why don't you search downstairs and around the outside of the house while I search upstairs? We can cover more ground if we split up."

Sonic was tempted to raise an objection, to continue to claim that Esplouge was dangerous and was waiting for Sonic to drop his guard so he could kill Tails without being interfered with, but he resisted that temptation. He had to keep to his word that he'd be nicer and more trusting toward Esplouge.

"Okay, sure," Sonic finally agreed.

The two split up, Tails running upstairs, Sonic going outside. Tails figured Esplouge would have gone to his room, but he was shocked to see that Esplouge hadn't gone there. Sonic was the one who found Esplouge, who had been sitting on the steps outside of Tails' house.

_Weird... I don't remember hearing or seeing the door open..._

"Hey, Esp," Sonic greeted casually. "Mind if I join you?"

"Whatever."

Sonic sat down next to the fox, trying his best to hide his disdain. Esplouge refused to look at him.

"I heard you call me a sadistic lunatic," Esplouge stated suddenly. "So I thought I'd leave."

"What stopped you?" Sonic asked, trying to sound friendly.

"I don't know any other place I can go to. So I just sat out here. Did Tails ask you to find me?"

"We'd be the world's most terrible hosts if we let our guest go missing," Sonic commented, trying to lighten the mood.

Esplouge eyed Sonic warily, trying to find some sort of ulterior motive for the hedgehog to have come outside to find him.

_He doesn't have a weapon, does he...? I guess he could easily kill me with his hands anyway..._

"I'm not sadistic," Esplouge explained, trying to keep eye contact with Sonic. "When I hurt Tails earlier today... I didn't want to. I wasn't aware of what I was doing. That's why I let go of him so quickly. I don't want to hurt him. He's so nice to me. Was I really _that _horrible before I forgot everything?"

Sonic considered his words for a moment.

"Yes, you were," Sonic responded fairly bluntly. "But I'm willing to give you a chance. For real this time."

"You... are? Hmm... I don't know how to feel, honestly. I don't really like you all that much, what with the way you treat me and all."

"Hey, I'm willing to start fresh if you are," Sonic offered.

"... What?"

"I'm willing to put the past behind me," Sonic explained. "You know... Start over."

"Oh. I would like to do that as well. ... We don't have to shake hands or hug or anything, do we?"

"Hell no."

Esplouge looked relieved.

"Good."


	5. Coast

Esplouge and Sonic went back into the house to look for Tails and to tell him the news; they were now on friendlier terms and were willing to get along. Tails, who had been standing at the top of the stairs, confused by not finding Esplouge in his room and unsure of what to do next, noticed them immediately and leaped down to wrap his arms around Esplouge's neck.

"Esplouge, where were you?" Tails asked. "Don't you ever do that again! Do you have any idea how worried I was?!"

"I'm... Sorry, Tails. I... I needed to get away for a minute. That's all."

Tails looked to Sonic, not sure if he should be thankful to him for leaving Esplouge in one piece or if he should be angry at the blue hero for finding Esplouge first.

"Guess what, Tails! Sonic and I are getting along now!" Esplouge exclaimed eagerly. "Isn't that great!"

Tails now looked puzzled.

"Really, Sonic?" the twin tailed fox asked almost coldly. "You actually mean it this time?"

Sonic nodded, appearing sincere.

"That's great then," Tails said with a smile.

"We should go do something together tomorrow," Esplouge suggested happily. "All three of us! And maybe we can invite Amy and Knuckles along, too!"

_I don't think I've ever seen Esplouge this... happy before. It's kind of nice._

"Well, Knuckles usually guards the Master Emerald, so he probably won't want to come... But we could see if Amy wants to do something tomorrow, right, Sonic?"

"But all she ever wants to do is shop," Sonic objected.

"That's an exaggeration," Tails countered. "Come on, we should be helping Esplouge socialize. We all need to get out of the house anyway."

"But do we really need to bring the pink menace along?" Sonic asked, a hint of humour in his voice. "She's so... Bleh."

"She might want to go to Emerald Coast now that the weather's getting better," Tails offered. "Do you want to go to the coast, Esplouge?"

"... What's the coast?" Esplouge asked.

"It's really great," Tails began. "It's sunny, and there's a lot of sand, and..."

"And there's water," Sonic finished disdainfully. "Lots and lots of water."

"Oh come on, Sonic. Even _you _like the coast."

"Only if I'm stopping one of Eggman's little schemes," Sonic corrected. "The adrenaline rush helps me forget that I'm completely surrounded by water. And I _really_ doubt that he's going to attack again, seeing as..."

"But we're working on putting that _behind_ us, aren't we, Sonic?" Tails interrupted.

"... Yeah. Sorry."

--

The rest of the evening was uneventful for the three anthromorphs. It had been established that they were going to Emerald Coast the next day with Amy around noon, and now they were all asleep.

Except, of course, for Esplouge.

_Sonic was serious about it this time, right? He's really willing to give me a chance this time, isn't he?_

_He wasn't the last time. Why would you trust him again?_

_Because... I don't know. I really feel like he meant it this time._

_You're a fool. You always have been._

_What do you mean?_

_..._

_No answer again..._

Esplouge lay as far away from Tails as he could while remaining on the bed. He stared at the ceiling with tired eyes, just wanting to get some sleep.

_Maybe if I hit my head on something hard enough, I could go into a coma and get some sleep then..._

Esplouge hardly entertained the thought. He was too afraid of pain after the incident with the knife. Besides, now that he and Sonic were on friendly terms, he wanted to keep it that way. He wasn't willing to have Sonic hate him again.

_But how on earth am I going to get to sleep?_

He continued to stare at the ceiling, noticing a headache creeping into his head. His head had been hurting a lot recently. He finally just got out of the bed, seeing no point in just laying down anymore.

_But what am I going to do while I wait for my body to be ready for sleep?_

_You could wake Tails up._

_Why would I want to do that?_

_... How about Sonic?_

_What the hell...? I don't want him to kill me!_

_You don't have to wake him up. Just... stare at him._

_Stare at him? Why? That seems kind of boring..._

_You'd be surprised at how entertaining it is to stare at someone who's asleep._

_I could always look through Tails' cook book again..._

_Why on earth would you want to do that? You couldn't cook something if you found anything interesting in that stupid thing..._

_It's better than nothing._

_You're going to get really bored really fast. Look for something else to read if you want to look at something so badly._

_Like what?_

Esplouge looked up and was surprised to see that during his internal conversation, he had gone downstairs and was now in the kitchen. He startled, forcing himself not to cry out in fear of repeating the incident that had caused his arms to need the bandages that were currently hardly able to hang on to his body anymore.

_How'd I get down here?!_

_... You walked._

Esplouge blinked a couple times, completely in the dark both figurativley and literally.

_Wait... I wanted to read something, but I can't read in this light._

_Then turn a light on._

_But what if I wake Sonic up?_

_Use a flashlight. Tails keeps one near his bed in case of a power outage._

_How do you know that?_

_..._

_Well, where am I going to read, assuming I find a book? I can't exactly read where the light could potentially wake up Tails or Sonic..._

_The kitchen? The bathroom, perhaps? This house isn't exactly small._

_Still..._

_Focus on finding a book and flashlight first, then focus on the other minor details._

Esplouge went to Tails' bookshelf and grabbed a book at random before going upstairs to look for the flashlight.

_Where is it?_

_Somewhere under his side of the bed._

Esplouge creeped as quietly as he could to Tails' side of the bed and felt underneath it, quickly finding the flashlight. He smiled to himself and rushed out of the room as quickly and quietly as he could, feeling awkward for a reason he was not entirely sure of. He went back into the kitchen, sat on the floor by the farthest corner from the doorway, and turned on the flashlight.

"... Address book?" Esplouge read out loud, looking at the cover.

_That's a book with the names of people with their addresses and phone numbers._

_I know what an address book is!_

_Then why do you seem so confused about it?_

_... I don't know. Reading it just seems weird. What if I see the name of someone that hurt me in the past and get all freaked out and scream and wake Sonic up and..._

_And what, the world explodes? You do realize that's a worse case scenario. Read the stupid book. You've got nothing better to do anyway._

Esplouge opened the book hesitantly and noticed that none of the names seemed familiar at all.

"Let's see... Rouge... Shadow... There's Knuckles... and... Hey, there's Amy's phone number."

Esplouge stared at the number for a few moments.

_I want to call her._

_So call her._

_But I'll wake her up._

_So?_

_Sleep's kind of important, isn't it?_

_No, sleep is completely meaningless. You do nothing but have disjointed thoughts that you call dreams or nightmares depending on the effect it has on your conscious mind after you wake up. But other than that, you're just wasting the night away. Go ahead. Call her._

Esplouge grabbed the phone out of the living room and returned to his little corner in the kitchen. He stared at the phone hesitantly before dialing the numbers, taking much longer than necessary to make sure he was inputting the numbers correctly and in the proper order. He held the phone up to his ear, eager to see if he had operated the unfamiliar device correctly.

"Hello...?" came Amy's tired voice.

Esplouge smiled internally, happy that he had just used something unfamiliar to him without any help.

"Hi, Amy."

"Tails...?"

"No. Not Tails."

Amy paused for a moment, distantly remembering something that had happened what felt like forever ago.

_("A- Amy?"_

_"Tails? Tails, where are you?")_

And that had been Esplouge speaking forever ago, Esplouge pretending to be Tails, and it eventually led up to the faded scars that still resided on her face. Amy unconsciously touched those scars, fearing that more were on the way.

When Amy spoke again, she sounded scared.

"Esplouge?"

"Yeah. I couldn't really sleep, so I though I'd call you. Well, no, not really. I was planning on reading a book, and I grabbed Tails' address book. And then... well, now I'm talking to you."

"Why aren't you asleep?" Amy asked, calming down a little.

_I really need to stop thinking in worst-case scenarios..._

"'Cause I can't sleep," Esplouge answered. "I try to, but my mind won't shut off... I'm bored. What do you do when you get bored, Amy?"

"Uh... I watch TV or read a book. I bake sometimes..."

"Bake? Oh, like cake and stuff. Right?"

"Yeah."

"I don't really think Sonic would be too happy with me if I tried to bake something at midnight," Esplouge explained. "And we don't have any milk, so it'd be really hard for me to find anything..."

"It was just a suggestion," Amy interrupted, wanting to get back to sleep.

"Should I go out and buy some milk?" Esplouge asked.

"At this time of night?" Amy asked. "That's probably not a good idea, Esplouge."

"Why?"

"... Bad people usually go outside at night. I wouldn't want you to get yourself hurt."

"Oh. Thanks, Amy. Oh, crap... Were you asleep before I called you?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm sorry! I'll let you get back to sleep now, Amy. Goodnight."

"'Night, Esplouge."

The two hung up, and Esplouge again found himself with nothing to do. He eventually decided to put the phone and book away and to go back to bed. He managed to fall asleep a little past one in the morning.

--

Esplouge woke up feeling oddly rested. He hadn't dreamt (not that he could remember anyway) and when he saw that it was ten in the morning, he smiled.

"I slept for almost nine hours?" he asked himself quietly. "Awesome!"

Esplouge hopped out of bed and went downstairs to see Sonic and Tails having breakfast in the kitchen.

"Good morning!" Esplouge greeted happily.

"I was wondering when you would wake up," Tails greeted as he hugged Esplouge.

_What if I had never woken up...?_

"Hunh?" Esplouge asked out loud, clinging to Tails as tightly as he could without snapping him in half. Something inside of him felt worried for some reason, as though if he let Tails go, he would be gone forever. He tried to look towards the direction the disembodied voice had come from, but there was nothing there.

_And what if he is already gone...?_

Esplouge looked back to Tails and saw that his throat was now sliced open and blood was spurting out of it vigorously. Esplouge screamed and dropped Tails' body, looking to Sonic for some sort of explanation, begging for it all to be some horrible, twisted nightmare. Sonic's eyes were gouged out and he was now laying dead on the kitchen floor.

_And what if this was all caused..._

"Wh- what...? B- but when I came in here..."

Esplouge stared at the two bodies, his eyes wide with terror. He found himself wishing more than anything for Sonic and Tails to come back to life, even if Sonic went back to hating him and if Tails went back to distrusting him. He just wanted them to be alive again. He wanted to know that they were both okay.

"S- Sonic... Tails... _Please_... Anything.... Say anything... Hurt me even... Just don't be dead..."

_... by an itty-bitty shard of glass?_

Esplouge screamed again and didn't stop until he truly woke up.

--

Esplouge was screaming and flailing, still in the grotesque world in his own head, trying with all his might to get out. Tails was shaking him almost violently, trying to wake him up.

"Esplouge, wake up!" Tails cried. "It's just a dream, wake _up!_"

Esplouge suddenly snapped awake and immediately clung to Tails, sobbing. His entire body was shaking and, Tails noticed, Esplouge was freezing cold.

"Oh my god, Tails, it was horrible!" Esplouge cried. "You were dead and Sonic was dead and everything was horrible and...!"

Tails hugged Esplouge back and patted his back gently.

"Shhh... Calm down. It was only a bad dream..."

"What's wrong?" Sonic asked from the doorway.

"Esplouge had a bad dream," Tails explained.

Sonic went to the bed and sat down next next to Esplouge.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sonic asked gently. It sounded a little forced, but genuine.

"N- n -no! I d- don't even want t- t- to think about it...!" Esplouge stuttered, visibly shaking. His face was buried in Tails' chest.

"Are you still up for going to the coast today?" Tails asked. "We can stay home today if you need to."

"N- n- no... I'm fine... I just... I need a few minutes. Wh- when are we going again?"

Esplouge separated himself from Tails and wiped away the remaining tears with the back of his hand.

"We're going around noon, which is about three hours from now," Tails explained. "Seriously, if you need to..."

"N- no, I really want to hang out with you guys today. I just need a moment or two. Honest."

Tails nodded and he and Sonic left Esplouge to his thoughts.

_What were those words?_

_What words?_

_The ones in my head. In the bad dream. What were they?_

_They sounded quite poetic to me. Perhaps you're meant to be a gothic poet?_

_... Are you making fun of me?_

_Hey, it got your mind off of being scared, didn't it?_

_... I guess..._

Esplouge remained sitting on the bed for another few minutes, trying to get the images of Sonic and Tails' dead bodies out of his head. When he finally felt that he was ready, he got up and went downstairs and into the kitchen.

"I'm really sorry about that, guys..."

"It's not your fault," Sonic explained, surprising both Esplouge and Tails.

"Yeah, seriously, Esplouge..."

"But... I feel bad. For bothering you guys, I mean."

"It's not your fault," Sonic said again. "And if you want to talk about it at all, I'll be here and so will Tails."

Esplouge almost looked guilty all of a sudden.

"I'd rather not... I mean... It was... I don't want to think about it anymore," Esplouge explained. "The only things I want to focus on today are eating and having fun. That's it. And speaking of eating, what's for breakfast?"

--

After the three had breakfast, Esplouge had another less pressing concern.

"Tails, my cuts still hurt..." Esplouge complained, holding out his bandaged wrists toward Tails.

"Okay, okay... Here, let me take a look..."

Tails undid the bandages and saw that the worst of the scars had healed already, but they were still pretty bad. He cleaned out Esplouge's remaining wounds and put on new bandages.

"Thanks, Tails."

"You're welcome. You should have reminded me sooner, Esplouge."

Esplouge remained quiet, sure that he had mentioned his scars a few times between having the bandages put on and finally having them replaced, but he didn't want to bother Tails by mentioning that. He merely looked to the ground and stared until Sonic finally came into the room.

"Are we ready to go?" Sonic asked, trying not to sound eager. A part of him was really looking forward to going to the coast, but his natural fear of water made him reluctant.

"Yeah, we're ready," Tails explained. "Hey, are we meeting Amy at her house, or are we meeting her at Emerald Coast?"

"Beats me," Sonic said with a shrug.

"Should we go to her house then?" Esplouge asked, trying to repress how eager he felt. "Otherwise she'll feel like we abandoned her, right?"

"Nah, we could just call her," Tails said as he headed for the phone.

Tails picked up the phone, dialed Amy's number, and held the receiver to his ear.

"Hello?" came Amy's voice.

"Hey, Amy, it's Tails."

"Oh, hi, Tails! Why are you calling?"

"We're going to Emerald Coast today, right?" Tails asked.

"Yeah."

"Were we going to meet up at your house, or were we planning on meeting up at the coast?"

"I thought we were going to meet there, but you guys could come over here if you want."

"No, we don't want to bother you or anything..."

"It wouldn't be a bother, silly!"

"Still... We'll just meet up at Emerald Coast then, right?"

"... Yeah. Sure."

"Bye, Amy."

"Bye."

The two hung up.

"So... We're meeting up at Emerald Coast then?" Sonic asked.

"Yep," Tails confirmed.

--

While they waited for Amy to arrive, the three furries decided to just hang out. It was a nice, sunny day, and they didn't have to share the beach with many other people, for which Esplouge was secretly grateful. Tails and Sonic were talking, although Esplouge wasn't paying much attention to their conversation. Something about the combination of sand, sea, and sun made him feel really relaxed...

"Should we wake him up?" Sonic asked, noticing that Esplouge had fallen asleep.

"Nah, he could use the sleep," Tails explained. "After all, he looks so peaceful."

Sonic nodded in agreement and then found another thought he wanted to give voice to.

"He's been acting a little weird."

"Hunh? How?"

"Haven't you noticed how much he seems to like Amy?" Sonic asked. "Constantly asking to go to her house, perking up every time he hears her name..."

"Maybe he just has a little crush on her?" Tails offered humorously, honestly not believing his explanation.

"I'm being serious, Tails."

"Sorry, sorry... But still, he only knows a few people. I think it's only natural for him to grow attached to the ones he doesn't see as often."

"I'm just a little concerned... I mean, if he goes back to how he was before, he could really hurt her."

"I really don't think he'd do that," Tails explained. "The more time he spends like this, the less likely he is to become dangerous if he eventually remembers everything. We just have to make him feel like he's any other friend of ours. Then he'll..."

"Hey, guys!"

Sonic and Tails turned immediately at the sound of Amy's voice. Esplouge jolted awake and stared at her shyly.

"Hey, Ames," Sonic greeted. "It's about time you got here."

"What's that supposed to mean? You guys live a lot closer to here than me! Of course you made it here first!"

"Guys, quiet down!" Tails urged. "Esplouge's still... Oh."

Esplouge was still staring at Amy, not noticing that Tails was now looking at him.

_She's so cute in her little swim suit..._

Amy looked toward Esplouge, causing the fox to jump.

"H- h- hi, Amy!" Esplouge greeted awkwardly.

"Hi, Esplouge," Amy greeted sweetly. "We're gonna have a ton of fun today, right?"

Esplouge found his mind rolling back to something that had happened a long time ago, something involving a small rabbit.

_("Hey, little girl. You wanna have some fun?"_

_"Hunh? Do you mean we're going to play a game?"_

_He savored the feeling of glass in his glove._

_"Something like that. Yes, I guess you could call it a game of sorts.")_

The memory was lost in a moment, just as quickly as it had come. He tried to respond to what was going on around him, to bring himself back to reality, so he smiled.

"Yeah!" he agreed enthusiastically, completely forgetting the memory he had just recalled. "We're gonna have lots of fun!"

--

Their day was filled with fun in the sand, and Esplouge discovering that, like a certain blue hedgehog, he preferred not to be in the water. Esplouge contented himself with playing in the sand while Sonic lounged and Amy and Tails swam in the ocean. Very few people had gone to Emerald Coast that day, which made Esplouge happy. This was a day he wanted to share only with his friends.

_Tails and Amy look so happy together..._

Esplouge tried to ignore the voice, instead focusing on doodling in the sand. His sand-drawing skills left much to be desired, but it was fun none the less.

_Don't you wish it was you and Amy instead of him and Amy?_

_Why should I even be concerned with that? We're all just having fun._

_True. But he's a lot closer to Amy than you are._

Esplouge looked to Tails and Amy, seeing that they were still swimming together in the ocean. The sun was beginning to set behind them, painting the entire scene an orange-yellow colour. Esplouge found himself silently wishing that he could be that close to Amy, to be the one swimming with her in the vast ocean with no one to bother them. But, as he had learned earlier that day, he couldn't swim very well.

_... I've gotta ask Tails to show me how to swim sometime..._

Esplouge's thoughts were interrupted when he heard a rustling sound in the trees behind him. He looked to the trees, startled, wondering who was behind them. He looked back to Sonic, who was relaxing and didn't seem to notice a thing, and then he looked to Tails and Amy, who were still swimming happily in the ocean. Esplouge finally decided to investigate what had made the rustling noise on his own.

When Esplouge got behind the trees (and thus out of Sonic, Tails, and Amy's view), he found himself face to face with a black and red hedgehog. Esplouge shrank back, feeling both hatred and fear envelope him just from the sight of the hedgehog's cold stare.

"Recognize me?" the hedgehog asked coldly.

_I think I've seen him somewhere before... But I'm not totally sure..._

"N- no," Esplouge answered shakily. "Sh- should I?"

The hedgehog pinned Esplouge to one of the trees and stared at him harshly.

"My name is Shadow," the hedgehog said. "Does that bring anything back?"

_Something.... something... God, why does this guy feel so familiar?_

"N- no..." Esplouge answered timidly. "C- can you let me go now? I really need to get back to my friends..."

Shadow slammed his fist into the side of Esplouge's head. Esplouge let out a harsh whimper, suddenly unable to scream. His voice seemed to leave him.

_Of all the times..._

"Stay the hell away from Tails."

"Stay... What?" Esplouge asked, not sure if he had heard the hedgehog correctly with his head pounding from the attack. "B- but I live with him! I can't just..."

The fist was slammed into his temple again. Esplouge felt his entire body go numb for a moment and was sure that if Shadow hadn't been holding him up, he would have collapsed.

"Stay away from him," Shadow ordered harshly. "Or I'll kill you."

"Wh- what?!"

Esplouge stared into Shadow's eyes, completely terrified. Why on earth was this stranger threatening him? He couldn't understand the complete hatred that Shadow felt for him, nor could he understand any kind of malicious intent. Why on earth would anyone want to hurt anybody else? That was a concept Esplouge could not grasp.

"B- b- but...!"

Before either of them could say anything more, there was more rustling in the trees and Sonic stepped out from behind to meet them. Esplouge stared at Sonic with pleading eyes, praying that Sonic was really here to help him and not to hurt him.

"Shadow, drop him," Sonic ordered.

"Are you out of your mind?!" Shadow asked. "I'm not letting a chance like this pass...!"

"Drop him."

Shadow reluctantly did as he was told and Esplouge immediately ran through the trees to be back with Tails and Amy.

"Why the hell would you tell me where he was going to be if you were just going to stop me?" Shadow asked furiously.

"Tails and Amy are on the other side of those trees," Sonic explained, trying to keep his voice down. "What would they have thought if they had seen you in the middle of killing him? They're both falling for his little friendly act..."

"So what?" Shadow cut in. "We could have proved he was faking it after..."

"How?" Sonic interrupted. "How could we have proved to them that he's faking it all?"

Shadow glared, unable to come up with an answer.

"So what, we're just going to let him run free until he kills someone?"

"No... We just have to be a little sneakier."

"How so?"

"I'll get him to go outside alone at some weird time of night. Then you could kill him and no one would be able to trace it back to you. How does that sound?"

"Fine, I guess... But know this, Sonic; if I get impatient, I'm going to kill him whether it's planned or not."

--

Esplouge ran back to Tails and Amy, not caring that his head was pounding or that he was on the threshold of collapsing. He needed comfort more than anything, and now that Tails and Amy were out of the water, there was nothing to hold him back from getting that comfort.

"Hey, Esplouge," Amy greeted as Esplouge wrapped his arms around both herself and Tails. "Is something the matter? You seem a little upset."

"N- no, I'm fine. Everything's great," Esplouge lied, honestly not sure why he was hiding his encounter with Shadow from them. "I'm just... really happy to see you guys. That's all."

"But you're shaking..." Amy stated, grabbing Esplouge's shaking hands gently. "Are you sure you're...?"

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Esplouge asked suddenly, remembering Shadow's threat.

_He told my to stay away from Tails..._

As much as Esplouge didn't want to leave Tails, he didn't want the hedgehog's death threat to come to fruition either. And the easiest way to acquire that was to stay with Amy.

"Wh- what?" Amy asked, surprised.

"Please, I... I'm just wondering if I would sleep better at your house... That's all..."

"Well... I don't have any problems with it," Amy said, looking to Tails. "Is it okay with you?"

Tails almost felt as though a part of his heart had been torn out. He had grown attached to Esplouge, viewing him as a brother just as he did with Sonic, except in Esplouge's case, Tails was the older brother who needed to defend Esplouge from harm. He didn't want to let go of Esplouge just yet, but at the same time, he didn't want to make Esplouge hate him by refusing to allow him to walk on his own two feet. Esplouge was eventually going to reach a point where he would have to live on his own and do things for himself, and the earlier he got used to being away from Tails, the faster he would be able to adjust to living in the outside world someday.

_I almost feel like a parent..._

"Yeah, of course," Tails finally answered, trying to push his thoughts aside. "Be good for Amy, alright?"

Esplouge smiled.

"Of course!" he answered cheerfully. He hugged Tails tightly for a moment, already missing him, before forcing himself to pull away and hold Amy's hand.

"I'll have him back by tomorrow," Amy assured. "But we've got to go now. It's getting late, and I'd prefer to get home before it turns dark."

"Yeah, okay. I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Where's Sonic?" Amy asked. "I want to say good bye to him, too."

"He's probably out for a run. I'll tell him you said good bye, okay?"

Amy smiled.

"Thanks, Tails."

As Esplouge and Amy left, Tails and Esplouge watched each other with a mutual sadness. Neither wanted to be away from the other, but they both knew, or at least tried to convince themselves, that it was for the best.

--

Esplouge felt awkward the moment he set foot in Amy's house. It was all so pink and red and happy, a vast change from the simple and calm atmosphere of Tails' home.

_You just wanted to be alone with her, didn't you?_

Esplouge tried to ignore the voice. He didn't want Amy to think he was crazy or something if he accidentally slipped and started talking to it out loud.

_How much of the reality you perceive is real? Can you answer that, Esplouge?_

_... Tails and Amy are real..._

_And is that it? Are they the only things that are real in your little world?_

_... No._

Esplouge was walking around the house, trying to remember where everything was.

_Sheesh, her house is huge. I don't think I'm going to be able to remember where everything is..._

He passed by a door that was slightly ajar and peeked inside, noticing Amy's swim suit on the ground and her silhouette covered by the shower curtain. Esplouge stared for a moment, innocently confused, and observed how different Amy's silhouette looked when she wasn't wearing her dress or swim suit, before walking away from the door.

"So that's where the bathroom is..."

_That isn't the only thing you're thinking about, is it?_

_What? Should I be thinking about anything else? I was only trying to remember what room that was._

_But you saw her..._

_... Why'd you stop?_

_..._

_... Are you still there?_

_..._

_..._

Esplouge walked into the room that would be his for the night. Without bothering to turn on the light, he headed straight for his bed and laid down, staring up at the ceiling. It was nice hanging out with his friends, but he was perfectly content with being alone for the time being. With any luck, he might actually fall asleep and not have a nightmare.

_... I wonder who that hedgehog was..._

After his encounter with Shadow, every other thought Esplouge had seemed to go back to the dark hedgehog. He still had no idea who Shadow was or why Shadow hated him so much.

_I should ask Tails... the next time I... see him..._

Esplouge drifted off into sleep before his thoughts could go any further.


	6. Best Friends

_Did I fall asleep?_

Esplouge opened his eyes sleepily, not quite ready to wake up. It was still dark, a sign that if he had fallen asleep, it hadn't been for very long. He felt something light and warm on top of him, and, on closer inspection, he saw that it was a blanket.

_I didn't have a blanket with me when I fell asleep... Did Amy put this here?_

Esplouge wrapped the blanket around himself like a shawl before getting out of the bed to look for a clock. He wandered into the living room and saw that it was around midnight.

_But I'm still so tired..._

_Well, when I called Amy before, she told me some stuff I could do if I got bored. Let's see, there's cooking... Or watching TV..._

Esplouge decided on the TV since it was the quickest and easiest fix to his current predicament. He sat down in front of the large box and turned it on, quickly turning the volume down as it was extremely loud. He had startled, fearing that he had woken Amy up, but after a few minutes, figured that that hadn't been the case.

_What are you supposed to watch on TV, anyway?_

Esplouge realized that he didn't fully know the function -or point- of a TV, so he left it on the channel it had been on before. It was some black and white show that was so grainy, it was hard to tell what was happening. Esplouge sat there, directly in front of the television set, in the dark, and allowed the flickering light to fill his eyes. Something about that faint flicker was so soothing, but he couldn't understand why.

"It's so... nice..."

Esplouge reached a hand out to touch the TV, sure that if he did it right, then maybe -just maybe- he could go inside the box to be completely surrounded by the flickering black and white. He felt as though he were falling, almost in a trance, until his hand hit the glass and the entire room came back to him in one disappointing movement. He sat there for a moment, staring blankly at the TV, before laying down and curling up to go back to sleep.

--

The sounds from the TV had entered Esplouge's subconscious, although he couldn't translate the sounds into words. It was just background noise, something he only listened to with half an ear, but he knew and appreciated that it was there all the same. His unconscious body felt like it was flying, although his mind hadn't made up a world for him to be flying through. But none of that mattered, because he was flying through a grainy, black and white world, just like the one on the TV...

And then he heard the TV turn off.

Esplouge woke up simultaneously and stared up at Amy for a moment, almost looking hurt.

_Why'd you turn it off?_

"Good morning," Amy greeted awkwardly, unsure why Esplouge seemed so sad.

"... Morning."

Esplouge stood up, trying to fully wake himself up. The flying feeling had stopped, but a part of him still felt light as a feather.

"Uh... Did you give me this blanket?" Esplouge asked, still keeping the blanket wrapped around his arms for warmth.

"Yeah. I thought you'd get cold."

"Thanks."

They stood together in silence for a moment.

"Uh... Do you want breakfast?" Amy asked.

"Yeah."

--

After finishing breakfast, Esplouge remained at the table, staring blankly at the place mat in front of him.

_Flickering... I miss the flicker... Flickering..._

"Esplouge, are you okay?" Amy asked, jarring Esplouge from his thoughts.

Esplouge abruptly turned to the pink hedgehog, slightly flustered.

"Y- yeah, I'm fine," he answered quickly. "I really like it here, Amy. Uh... Why were you wondering?"

"You seem a little... out of it," Amy explained, honestly not sure how to word it.

"Oh... I'm sorry."

Esplouge went back to staring at the place mat, seeming a little uncomfortable. Amy felt concerned, but for the time being, decided to play it calm.

"Why did you want to stay here?" Amy asked curiously. She took a seat near Esplouge before continuing. "I would have thought you would rather be with Tails."

"Hunh? Oh, I..."

Esplouge could see his encounter with Shadow replaying right before his eyes, a memory playing just like a video. Every breath, every last movement was perfectly preserved in his memory.

"I... Met someone, I guess," Esplouge finished. "He... He said he'd... k- kill me if... if I stayed near Tails. And you're the only other person I feel safe with."

"Who'd you meet?" Amy asked, genuinely concerned. "Who threatened you?"

_["My name is Shadow."_

_"Does that bring anything back?"]_

"He... He s- said his name was Shadow," Esplouge answered awkwardly. His fingers were interlaced so tightly, he thought some of them would break.

"_You saw Shadow?!_" Amy exclaimed, catching Esplouge by surprise. Esplouge shrieked.

"Y- Y- Yeah... I'm s- s- sorry..."

"No, no... You didn't do anything wrong," Amy consoled, trying to calm herself down.

_No wonder he's been acting so weird..._

"It's okay, Esplouge. You didn't do anything wrong."

Esplouge just stared at her for a moment before finally speaking.

"Is he gonna hurt Tails? He was really violent with me, and..."

Esplouge trailed off, losing the words that had been in his mind.

"I don't think he would hurt Tails," Amy consoled. "He and Tails get along pretty well, and Sonic's there, so..."

"I forgot about Sonic... He protected me."

"Hunh? When?"

"When Shadow tried to hurt me," Esplouge explained. "Shadow said he would kill me, then Sonic came and told him to leave me alone."

_That's a little shocking, considering what Tails has been saying about Sonic and Esplouge's relationship..._

"I still need to thank Sonic for that," Esplouge continued. "I just wanted to get away from Shadow, so I completely forgot to thank Sonic for helping me out. It makes me really happy, because Sonic doesn't hate me anymore. If he still hated me, he wouldn't have protected me."

_I can't believe Sonic would actually protect Esplouge..._

"I miss Tails, though," Esplouge said sadly. "It's weird not seeing him when I wake up. I'm so used to seeing him right when I wake up."

_["Why would..._

_...sleep..._

_...can't stand..._

_...scared..."]_

Disjointed thoughts, or perhaps memories of conversations suddenly flooded into his mind, although he couldn't place a meaning to any of it. Was it even related to what he had previously been talking about? Either way, his head hurt like hell.

_My head feels like it's gonna explode..._

"Are you okay, Esplouge?" Amy asked.

Esplouge was holding his head in his hands, with his elbows resting on the table. He had broken out in a cold sweat and his breathing had become a little shallow. He didn't respond to Amy's voice right away, but it eventually sunk in.

"My head fricken _hurts_," Esplouge groaned.

"Do you need headache medicine?" Amy asked. "I have some if you need it."

"S- sure..."

Amy brought Esplouge the pills and some water and Esplouge downed them immediately.

"Th- thanks..."

"What happened?" Amy asked. "You were fine one minute, then..."

"I... I don't know," Esplouge interrupted. "Can... Can we go see Tails soon? I really want to see him again..."

"Of course," Amy answered. "We can leave right now if you want to."

--

In around a half hour, Amy and Esplouge were at Tails' house. The moment Esplouge saw Tails, he hugged the smaller fox tightly.

"I missed you, Tails!"

"I... I missed you, too, Esplouge..."

_He must have really missed me..._

Tails looked to Amy, who was staring at him and Esplouge. She seemed amused by their reunion, thinking it was sweet.

"Do you wanna stay for a bit?" Tails asked politely.

_I really should tell him about Shadow, if Esplouge won't..._

"Sure."

In another few minutes, Tails and Amy were sitting at the kitchen table. Esplouge had wandered off to look for Sonic.

"You seem a little freaked out," Tails stated. "Did he do something...?"

"N- no, it's just... Esplouge said he saw Shadow yesterday."

"_What?!_ Why wouldn't he tell me something like that?!"

"I think he was trying not to worry you," Amy answered honestly. "He was actually worried that Shadow might hurt you. And considering the circumstances, I guess that makes sense..."

Amy noticed how zoned out Tails seemed to be, then she noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

"Did you get _any_ sleep last night?"

"No," Tails answered. "I thought about working on my plane for a bit since I didn't have to watch Esplouge, but then... Well something else seemed a little more important."

"What?" Amy asked.

"Well.... When Esplouge was here the last time, he gave me a disk that's supposed to have everything about his programming on it."

"His what?"

"His programming. Oh wait, you don't know about that..."

"Know about what?"

"Esplouge is an experiment," Tails explained. "Just like Shadow."

"He's _what?!_" Amy exclaimed, shocked. "Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?!"

"None of us even knew until Esplouge told me," Tails explained. "And he asked me to keep it a secret, so..."

Amy nodded to say she understood.

"But anyway, I was up all night trying to see if there was anything important on that disk," Tails continued. "Something that could explain his memory loss or... _something_."

"Did you find anything?" Amy asked.

"No. Nothing. I spent over nine fricken hours on that thing, and I found absolutely _nothing_ that could help."

"You probably shouldn't use language like that around Esplouge," Amy scolded.

"Language like what?" Tails asked sleepily.

"Like the word "fricken"," Amy explained. "He swore so much before he lost his memory, do you _really_ want him picking up that kind of language again?"

"Calm down, I hardly ever use that word. Besides, it's not like he's around to hear it or anything..."

"Still..."

"Where'd he go, anyway?" Tails asked.

"He said something about needing to thank Sonic," Amy explained. "Apparently Sonic stopped Shadow from attacking him."

"Seriously? Sonic didn't mention anything like that to me... But Sonic's not even here, so wouldn't Esplouge be back in here by now?"

--

Esplouge had intended on returning to Tails and Amy, but when he had gotten within hearing distance of the kitchen, he caught a part of their conversation.

_("Esplouge is an experiment.")_

Hearing this confused Esplouge, and he ultimately decided to go lay in the bed in Tails' room until Amy left.

_I'm an experiment? Does that mean I'm not real?_

Esplouge curled up into a ball, trying not to cry.

"I'm not even real?"

_Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. Reality isn't defined by how you came into the world, but rather if you currently exist in the world. So, Esplouge, answer me this; do you really exist?_

Esplouge sat up and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He could see something faintly, a faint glowing red, but he had no idea what it was or what it meant. However, something inside him knew that this thing, whatever it was, was the thing he was currently talking to.

"Do I...? Y- yes."

_Now, now, Eppy, your heart wasn't in that response. Do you question your reality? Is that little seed of doubt in your mind telling you that you're just an experiment and thus can not be real? Honestly, Esplouge... Shadow, you remember him, right? He was an experiment as well, but you don't see him questioning who or what he is. He knows what he is and he knows that he is real._

Esplouge was mesmerized by the faint red glow. Something about it seemed so familiar, as if it had been there with him since the very moment he had woken up without his memories, but at the same time, he knew that it was something he had never seen before. It was like a rose, in a way, familiar and beautiful, but like a rose's thorns, it had an air of danger around it. Something about it seemed unsafe.

_What, cat got your tongue? Why are you staring off into space like that?_

"You're there," Esplouge answered slowly. "A- aren't you?"

_That depends, Esplouge. Is what you're seeing real? Am I even real?_

"... Y- yes. You're real," Esplouge answered unsurely.

_There you go sounding all unsure again. It's a simple question, Esplouge; am I real?_

"Am I real..." Esplouge muttered hollowly, looking to his feet. When had he stood up?

_Yes, Esplouge. Am I real?_

"I... I am real. Aren't I?"

_No, you're not. You're fake, you're just an experiment, remember? If you define reality by how you came into this world, then you are artificial. You are not real._

"B- but I _am_real," Esplouge argued desperately, staring at that faint red glow. "I'm here, I'm standing in Tails' room and Tails and Amy are downstairs in the kitchen talking about... about stuff, and Sonic is somewhere else, probably running around, and... and... And I'm _real_, damnit!"

Esplouge felt a sudden anger welling up inside his chest. He didn't understand why, but he just felt so _furious_ all of a sudden.

"How _dare_ you question _my _reality," Esplouge asked scathingly. "_I_ am not the one who has to live in another person's head, you fucking _parasite_."

What on earth was he saying? Esplouge had no idea where the words were coming from or why he was saying them. It was as if he had lost control of himself. He was no longer in control of his words, and it was only a matter of time before he lost control of his actions as well.

_Ah, your old nickname for me. How nice of you to call me that again, but don't you think you're getting a little carried away? After all, you can't even remember who you are. And shouldn't that be your primary focus?_

"I won't be able to find myself if I allow you to continue with this crap. You're trying to fuck me up, but I can see through it, you parasite. I can see through _you_."

_Oh really? And just what is my motive, Eppy? Can you answer that for me? What exactly do you think I'm trying to do to you?_

"I... I don't know yet. But whatever the fuck you're planning, I'm not going to let you win."

_You still don't get it, Eppy. I _am_ winning. All of it, your reaction right now, your _anger_... I _am_ winning._

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Esplouge asked. The faint red glow was beginning to grow fainter. "You can't be winning..."

_And why is that?_

"Because... Because I still have control of myself. I'm not giving myself up to you, parasite. I can still control myself."

Esplouge felt his anger waning along with the red glow. Was the red glow the source of his anger? Either way, he let himself fall back onto the bed, exhausted from arguing.

"I guess I'll just ask Tails about it later..."

--

A few hours after arriving, Amy left Tails' house. Tails was the only one to say farewell to her, and after Amy left, Tails went to search for Esplouge. He found Esplouge lying on the bed in his room, staring up at the ceiling.

"Esplouge?"

"Hunh? Oh, hi, Tails..." Esplouge sounded hurt for some reason.

"Why didn't you come back to me and Amy?" Tails asked.

"Didn't feel like it," Esplouge replied. "You and Amy seemed perfectly content talking about me while I wasn't there."

"What do you mean?"

Esplouge sat up and stared at Tails hard. His crimson eyes were icy cold.

"When were you planning on telling me I was an experiment?" Esplouge asked coldly.

"You heard that?!" Tails asked, shocked. He hadn't been counting on that for being behind Esplouge's disappearance. "Esplouge..."

"Something in me just... _snapped _after hearing that," Esplouge interrupted. He laid back down and stared at the ceiling. "Am I real? Or am I fake? Or maybe somewhere in between? Semi-real...?"

"Esplouge, what are you talking about?" Tails asked, genuinely concerned. "Of course you're real! Entirely real!"

"Really?" Esplouge asked. "Is it really so simple? After all, my thoughts _are_ pretty messed up. Like right now. I can't stop thinking about killing people. Just... Just the thought of their blood running down my hands is so... I don't know the word for it. But whatever.... It's not like a silly little word matters."

"Es- Esplouge?" Tails asked tentatively.

_Oh god, he can't be seriously talking about this, not now..._

"What, sweetie?" Esplouge asked. "I'm just joking... maybe. God, my head hurts..."

"D- do you need s- some medicine...?" Tails asked, terrified.

_He sounds way too much like how he did before he forgot..._

"Yes... Medicine would be nice. Something to fix whatever's going on in my head, 'cause _I_ certainly can't stop it. I think it's some... something."

Esplouge's voice suddenly flip-flopped, going from cold and angry to desperate. He suddenly sounded desperate for something.

"I don't know what it is. Tails, you can fix it, can't you? Whatever's wrong with me, can you fix it? I... I'm so cold. It's so cold here, Tails. In my head, I mean..."

"Are you okay, Esplouge?"

Esplouge startled, feeling Tails sit down next to him.

_All that incoherency and he's still comfortable around me?_

"I... I didn't mean it. That I want to kill people, I mean," Esplouge said. "I would never want to hurt anybody. That's... It's scary to think about, but that thing.... There's something in my head, Tails. It made me cut myself that one night, and it tries to make me do bad things, but I swear I don't want to be doing those things. I would never want to hurt anybody, especially you. I really like you, Tails."

Esplouge sat up to be on the same level as Tails. His crimson eyes had gone from cold to pleading.

"You believe me, don't you?"

_I have no idea what you're saying..._

"I... Yes, I believe you, Esplouge," Tails answered unsurely. "Now, didn't you say you wanted some medicine for your headache? I should get some for you before your headache gets worse. I'll be right back."

Tails stood up and Esplouge followed suit. Esplouge grabbed Tails' arm gently.

"Please don't leave me," Esplouge pleaded. "I'm scared to be alone right now."

Tails nodded and he and Esplouge headed downstairs. Esplouge took the headache medicine gratefully.

"You said there was something in your head," Tails said. "Did you mean your headache?"

_I can't tell Tails about the parasite... Or how angry I got. He'd be so disappointed in me if he knew how angry I got..._

"N- no... I... I didn't know what I was saying," Esplouge lied. "That's how bad my head hurts. I... I'm sorry for worrying you. You're my best friend, Tails. I don't want to worry you."

Tails felt a shiver go down his spine.

_["You're my... My friend, right? You're my best... est little... friend."]_

_He threatened to hurt me shortly after that..._

While that was true, Esplouge had had no real intention of hurting Tails at that point. He had merely been trying to get away from Sonic and Shadow, although the question of whether that was okay or not was up for debate.

But that was for another time.

"Thank you, Esplouge. You're my best friend, too."

Esplouge seemed shocked by this.

"... I thought Sonic was your best friend."

"People can have more than one best friend, Esplouge," Tails replied. "You and Sonic and Amy are my best friends."

"Oh..." Esplouge said to say he understood. "Then you and Amy and Sonic are my best friends."


	7. Assault

Tails and Esplouge waited around for a few hours before Sonic finally got back home. Their time had been spent with Tails convincing Esplouge he was real and promising to show him the disk he had given Tails what felt like forever ago. Esplouge, after much arguing, finally decided to accept his reality mere minutes before Sonic got home.

"Hi, Sonic!" Esplouge greeted happily, hugging the blue hedgehog. "I'm sorry I forgot to thank you yesterday, so thank you!"

Sonic just stared at Esplouge for a moment.

".. For what?"

"You know... Making Shadow go away," Esplouge said, sounding a little less cheerful. Had it all just been a dream? After all, he had no way of proving that wasn't the case, although how else would he have been able to recall a familiar name...?

"Oh, that," Sonic said, able to recal the event. "Yeah, whatever. It was no problem."

_As long as Shadow doesn't get impatient and kill Tails to get to you, I'm okay..._

"I'm so glad you don't hate me anymore," Esplouge said, regaining his cheerfulness. "You and Tails and Amy are my best friends, Sonic! You're all really great!"

"Where the heck have you been?" Tails asked, finally getting a word in. "You said you were only going to be out for a little while, but you've been gone for a few hours."

"Just... Taking care of stuff," Sonic answered. "So, when did Esplouge get back?"

"A few hours ago," Tails answered. "A little while after you left."

"I really liked staying at Amy's house, but I like it here better," Esplouge commented. "I'm more used to being around you guys. Plus, Amy's house is all pink and red and stuff. It's really... I don't know. Girly. It's really girly."

Tails smiled, humoured by how childish Esplouge was being. Sonic tried to appear amused or at least happy that Esplouge was feeling happy, but it was hard for him to hide how much he really didn't want to be there.

"Yeah, okay," Sonic said hurriedly. "Could you go do something else for a minute? Tails and I need to talk."

"But I wanna hear, too!" Esplouge objected. "Besides, what else can I do?"

"There has to be something you want to do," Sonic said. "Is there anything you've been wanting to do that you haven't gotten around to?"

Esplouge thought for a minute.

"I wanna try to bake something!" Esplouge exclaimed. "But you two are gonna be talking in the kitchen, so I can't do that. Besides, all the things I wanna make have milk in them, but we don't have any milk."

"Do you wanna go get some?" Sonic asked. "We can give you money and directions."

"Oh, like running errands?" Esplouge asked. "I'd love to run errands for you guys! You're my best friends!"

"I don't know how I feel about Esplouge going out on his own," Tails said unsurely.

"Oh, come on, it's just a trip to the grocery store," Sonic said as he got out some money to give to Esplouge. "It's not like we're sending him somewhere dangerous."

"But..."

"Don't worry, Tails," Esplouge consoled. "I won't get into any trouble. I'll just go there and come right back. Then we can bake something! Besides, we really need some milk."

Sonic handed Esplouge the money and a scrap of paper with directions scrawled messily in an almost impossible to read pen. Esplouge studied the directions carefully before deciding that he could read them well enough.

"I'll be back soon," Esplouge said, hugging Tails. "Bye, Tails."

Sonic and Tails waited a few moments after Esplouge left to pick up on their conversation.

"Why'd you want him to go away so badly?" Tails asked. "Why can't he hear whatever you have to tell me?"

"Tails... This is a little important, and I really don't want _him_ getting wind of what's going on."

"What do you mean?" Tails asked. "I thought you two were getting along. He told Amy that you stopped Shadow from attacking him yesterday..."

"It's kind of about that, actually," Sonic began. "You see..."

--

Esplouge walked alone down the city street, feeling a little awkward about being alone. Other than when he had first woken up, before he met Tails, he couldn't remember a time where he had been all alone.

_But Tails and Sonic are counting on me to do this. I can do this for them._

Luckily, the weather was fairly gloomy and thus not a lot of people were out and about. It looked and felt like it would start raining any minute which, Esplouge had to admit, he wouldn't mind. Something inside of him was in the mood for rain.

_That was really nice of Sonic to trust me with this. I'm so glad we're getting along now._

_Oh, Eppy, do you really think he sent you outside because he suddenly wants to be your friend?_

Esplouge's walking slowed a little. Had he actually heard something other than the voice, or had he just been imagining it? Heck, he could have been imagining the voice as well.

"What do you mean?" Esplouge asked quietly. "Sonic's my friend now. He's willing to forgive whatever I did in the past and to give me a chance to start over."

_You poor, poor fool..._

Esplouge shuffled uncomfortably for a moment before looking back to the hard to read directions in his hands. If he was reading them right, he didn't have very far to go.

"I'm almost there. Then I can get milk and maybe something else. I think Sonic gave me a little more than I needed."

Esplouge looked to the crumpled twenty dollar bill in his hand, not fully understanding what money was or how things were priced, but something in him knew that twenty dollars was more than enough for a carton of milk.

"Maybe I could get some fruit or something," Esplouge thought out loud. "Or something for Sonic since he was nice enough to let me run an errand for him. I wonder what kinds of things Sonic likes..."

"Maybe your blood splattered across the pavement," came a familiar voice from behind.

Esplouge froze in his tracks, feeling the blood drain from his body. He turned slowly to face the black and red hedgehog behind him.

"Y- you again?" Esplouge asked uncomfortably. He could feel himself shaking from fear. "P- please leave me alone, Sh- Shadow..."

Esplouge felt something heavy slam into the back of his neck, sending him to the ground. He tightened his fists, trying not to drop the directions or the money.

But wait a minute. If Shadow was still in front of him, then who...?

"Hello, demon," Metal Sonic's hollow voice greeted from behind.

Esplouge felt his blood run cold. Something about that voice, something sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.

_Not another bully..._

Esplouge tried to stand back up, only to be forced down again. He could feel Metal Sonic's cold, hard foot on the back of his neck.

"You can stop pretending," Shadow said, walking over toward the pair as he spoke. "We both know what you're up to."

"I'm just going to the store!" Esplouge argued, struggling against Metal Sonic. "Sonic asked me to get some milk. I have the directions right here..."

Shadow kicked Esplouge hard in the face, causing Esplouge's nose to bleed. Esplouge shrieked and instinctively tried to reach his hands to his nose to stop the bleeding, but he realized he was holding the directions and money in both hands. He didn't want to get them dirty.

"I haven't done anything to either of you!" Esplouge argued. "Why are you being so mean?!"

Metal Sonic took his foot off of Esplouge's neck and pulled him to his feet, forcing the small fox to make eye contact.

"You killed my master," Metal Sonic said seethingly. "He gave you _life_ and you killed him for it."

Metal Sonic slapped Esplouge across the face.

"You little bastard!" Metal Sonic nearly shouted, held back only by the robotic drone of his voice. "You ungrateful, immoral little bastard! What in hell would posses you to kill the very man who gave you _life_?!"

"I never hurt anyone!" Esplouge cried. "Tails says hurting people is bad!"

"Then why the hell would you hurt him?!" Shadow asked angrily. "Do you have _any_ idea how much pain you've caused that innocent little kid?! And let's not forget the fact that you actually _murdered_ Cream...!"

"I don't even know who that is!" Esplouge argued. "I'm just going to the store to get some things for my friends! Why won't you believe me?!"

Shadow shoved Esplouge's face into the concrete.

"You are a fucking _experiment_, you can't have friends!" Shadow argued, sounding offended. "After all the shit you've put us through, do you honestly think _any_ of us will forgive you?!"

"_I don't even remember what I've done!_" Esplouge screamed. "_And Tails and Amy and Sonic all forgave me for it! They're my friends and they'd protect me not matter what!_"

"If that's the case, where are they now?" Shadow asked. "Besides, Sonic was the one who told us you'd be here. So really, you can thank him for this little scuffle. If you're still conscious by the end of it, that is."

"What?" Esplouge asked. "S- Sonic would never... You're lying!"

Shadow pinned Esplouge to the ground, forcing the small fox to stare up at him.

"Don't you _dare_ accuse me of lying," Shadow said scathingly. "You're one to talk. Always claiming you care about Tails, then going around and hurting him. Do you even care about what you've done to him?!"

"_I would never hurt Tails!_" Esplouge screamed. "_He's my bestest friend and I care about him!!_"

"You don't care about him, you're fucking _obsessed_with him!" Shadow argued, keeping Esplouge's back flat against the concrete.

"I'm not obsessed with him!" Esplouge argued, struggling to free himself of Shadow's grasp. "He's my best friend! He let me stay at his house 'cause I had nowhere else to stay! I didn't even stay with him last night, _I stayed away from him like you told me to!_"

"Oh, really?" Shadow asked. "Then where did you stay last night?"

"A- Amy's..."

"_What?!_"

Shadow's hands were immediately around Esplouge's throat.

"_Where the hell is she?! If you did anything to her, I swear I'll...!_"

"I... she..." Esplouge choked out, trying to breathe and speak at the same time. The crushing grip around his throat was making it difficult. He started to struggle, but Shadow wouldn't let up.

Metal Sonic had to pull Shadow away from Esplouge before any more speaking could be done.

"_What the hell was that for?!_" Shadow screamed, glaring at Metal Sonic furiously. "_I could have killed that little bastard...!_"

"And then what?" Metal Sonic asked. "You would not have received the answer to your question. Besides, killing him could not possibly be as easy as strangulation. After all, he has survived explosions."

Esplouge was still sitting on the ground, staring at the arguing pair, praying that the robot would actually stop Shadow from killing him. Esplouge felt completely numb for some reason. He was terrified for his life to the point where he couldn't feel anything anymore.

_How did Shadow's response strike you?_

_What do you mean?_

_What do you think his feelings are towards that girl?_

Esplouge stood up slowly, staring coldly at the ground as he stood.

_No, I won't let you take me, stop using me as your puppet you... fucking... parasite..._

Esplouge stared at Shadow and Metal Sonic, completely frozen. Part of him wanted to kill Shadow and to rip Metal Sonic apart, but the other part of him merely wanted to run away. He wanted to run back to Tails and Sonic, cowering, begging for their protection.

_You are a coward, Esplouge._

_But I can't hurt them... I'm too weak, and Tails would be unhappy with me._

_What if I could guarantee you had the strength to take them on? Then what?_

_Then..._

_You'd kill them, wouldn't you?_

_NO!_

Shadow looked to Esplouge, both jarring him from his thoughts and startling him. How on earth could he have even thought of taking this monster on? Shadow was obviously more powerful than he was, there was just no way he would be able to survive in that kind of fight.

"Where is she?" Shadow asked angrily, thankfully staying rooted where he stood.

"Hunh?" Esplouge asked lamely.

"Where the hell is Amy?" Shadow asked, angrier. "If you did _anything_ to her...!"

"She... She's at her house, probably. She left Tails' house a while ago, but she likes to shop a lot, so..." Esplouge noted Shadow's angry expression and shuddered. "B- besides, she's my friend. She's really nice to me and she's really sweet, why would I ever want to hurt her? I like her a lot..."

Metal Sonic tried to hold Shadow back but was unsuccessful. Shadow pinned Esplouge back onto the ground, slamming the back of the fox's head violently into the concrete. Esplouge cried out, praying that Metal Sonic would help, but in moments he knew that wasn't going to happen. Metal Sonic was watching them indifferently, secretly hoping that Shadow would kill Esplouge.

_As long as the monster who murdered my master is dead..._

"Don't you _dare_ say that," Shadow fumed. "You always said that kind of thing about Tails, and if you think for a _second_ that I'm not going to see through your little act... If you even _think_ of hurting her...!"

"I would never hurt her or Tails or anybody else," Esplouge argued again, staring at Metal Sonic with pleading eyes. "You have to believe me."

Shadow rose his fist above Esplouge, ready to smash his skull. Esplouge flinched, but Shadow wasn't ready to attack quite yet.

"Why should we believe you?" Metal Sonic asked, approaching the two. "Lying about something like this seems like something you would normally do."

"_I'm not lying!_" Esplouge cried. "_I don't remember anything, I have no idea who either of you two are, I __**swear!!**_"

Shadow's fist connected with Esplouge's face. Esplouge cried out in pain, feeling blood coming from his lip. The taste of the coppery blood disgusted him.

"_Why the hell should we believe you?!_" Shadow screamed. "_Why on earth would you have randomly lost your memory?!_"

"_**I don't fucking know!**_" Esplouge screamed back. His voice cracked as he spoke. "_**Just leave me the fuck alone!! I need to go to the store for Tails!!**_"

Shadow's fist seemed significantly stronger the second time it smashed into Esplouge's face. Esplouge could feel his face bleeding, which caused him to feel panicked.

_Oh god, oh god, I can't stand blood, I don't want to have more bandages..._

_Oh, you'll only have bandages if you live through this, Eppy._

_I need to get out of this!!_

"_How would you even remember who Tails is if you didn't remember anything?!_" Shadow screamed. "_How the hell would you have known where to find him?!_"

"I didn't know where to find him!" Esplouge yelled. His throat was beginning to hurt, and all the screaming was beginning to make his ears ring. He just wanted it all to be over, for Shadow and Metal Sonic to go away so he could buy the milk for Tails and return home somewhat unharmed. Or maybe for himself to wake up and for all of this to be just a horrible nightmare.

"Tails found me," Esplouge continued. "I was scared of him at first, to be honest. I just... I just woke up, not remembering anything. I didn't even know my own name until Tails told it to me."

"Somehow, I just don't believe you," Shadow said calmly. "Tails has always trusted you too much, always claiming that you were a good person on the inside, but everyone else could see the truth. You were a monster. Did you notice the cuts on Tails' back? Or maybe the ones on Amy's face. Those were from _you_. _You_ were the one who hurt them. And do you want to know _why_ you hurt them?"

"N- no... I don't want to remember any of that..."

"It's because you were fucking _psycho_," Shadow continued. "You kidnapped Tails twice, you _tried_ to kidnap Amy, you destroyed Amy's home, you murdered at least a dozen innocent humans, including _children_, and do you know why? Because you're a sociopathic, sadistic little _freak_. You only care about yourself. Tails is _terrified_ of you, even now."

"You're lying!" Esplouge cried. "_You're lying!_ Tails is my _friend_, why would he... Why would he be afraid of me?"

"You used to _hurt_ him," Shadow explained, looking about ready to slap the fox. "You'd beat him until he lost consciousness. And you think I'm going hard on you right now? You had him so terrified, he couldn't leave his house for fear of being kidnapped by you again."

"But why would I hurt him?" Esplouge asked.

--

"_What?!_"

Sonic had just finished explaining to Tails the real reason why he had sent Esplouge out. He had been working with Shadow, trying to get Esplouge to a point where he would be vulnerable, while Shadow was going to kill him. Sonic hadn't known that Metal Sonic was in on it as well.

"Sonic, what the hell...? Why on earth would you do something like that?!"

"We're doing this to protect you," Sonic explained calmly. "He's bound to get his memories back at some point, and then what's going to happen? He's going to hurt you again, Tails. We're just trying to protect you."

"Sonic, when the hell are you going to understand? Esplouge doesn't remember anything! He's completely lost and he's so innocent... He can't remember any of the horrible things he's done and none of you have any right to kill him when all he's doing is...!"

Then it hit Tails that Esplouge was probably dead or dying at that very moment. Shadow and Metal Sonic had probably found him, and knowing their boundless hatred for the fox, it would only be a matter of time before they tore him to shreds. And all the while, Esplouge was probably doing nothing to defend himself, hoping, _praying_, that Tails or Sonic would come to stop them. He was vulnerable and he needed someone to protect him.

Tails dashed out the door before saying anything else. Sonic let him run, figuring that Esplouge would probably be dead when Tails eventually found him.

--

Shadow had eventually grown tired of arguing with Esplouge and by now, Esplouge was sure he was going to die. Shadow and Metal Sonic had double teamed him, beating him almost to unconsciousness. He had refused to fight against them, knowing that it would make Tails unhappy if he were to hurt someone, and now he was beginning to regret it. He could have at least attempted to defend himself, but he just couldn't find it in himself to hurt another person.

And now he was lying on the ground, bruised and bleeding, crying and wishing the pain would just end. He didn't want to die, but he was willing to take death over the immeasurable pain he was in. And even through all that pain, he had managed to hold onto the directions to the grocery store and the money for the milk. Even when he knew he was about to die, he refused to let those important things go.

Words has dissolved into mere sounds, things that stimulated his ears but which had no real meaning. He couldn't tell if he was listening to Shadow or Metal Sonic, or if it was just the wind blowing or if he was already dead. But would he really still be in so much pain after he died? Wouldn't death aleviate the pain, or would it remain with him forever?

And then he heard a sound, a word, that told him that he was still alive. Even through the haziness of near-death, he could still make out the sound of someone screaming his name. And immediately after that, he fell unconscious.


	8. Lack of Control

Tails was holding Esplouge, trying to protect him from both Shadow and Metal Sonic. Esplouge was battered and unconscious, whereas Tails had immediately noticed a lack of injuries on both Shadow and Metal Sonic. They had assaulted him, even after it had been made obvious he wasn't planning on defending himself.

"You bastards!" Tails yelled, holding Esplouge's unconscious body closer to himself. "How could you do something like that?! You saw that he wouldn't defend himself, so why did you keep attacking him?!"

"Look, I know this is hard for you to understand, but we both were trying to protect you from that monster," Shadow explained angrily. "Why the hell would you...?"

"He doesn't remember _anything_!" Tails exclaimed. "He had no idea who you were when you threatened him yesterday! He's actually nice now and you both tried to ruin that by reminding him of why he used to hate you two so much!"

"Hey, he was the one who attacked _me_!" Shadow argued. "When we first met, he was the one who threw the first punch. He had no reason to hate me other than the fact that I actually fought back. And Metal Sonic completely forgot about him at a point, remember? And how did you know about yesterday if Esplouge didn't stay with you last night?"

"Amy told me," Tails explained. "After she brought him back. She said he'd told her you attacked him. He was afraid that you would hurt _me_."

"What the hell would make him think...?"

"Think about it. You're a total stranger as far as he knows. He had no idea who you were or why you wanted him to stay away from me. He doesn't remember anything about his past, honestly. If he did, there have been numerous times where he could have killed me or Amy, or taken us hostage. He's never been the type to come up with a long, drawn out plan, so it's unlikely that he'd be pretending to have amnesia to go along with some plan like you and Sonic are so convinced he's doing. He's always been the type of person to just go out and do things, usually without really thinking. There's no way he's planning anything. It would be too out of character for him."

"Oh, and acting all nice and innocent isn't out of character?" Shadow asked spitefully. "Wouldn't it be logical for him to be pretending to be all nice just so he can be around you? He's always been obsessed with you, Tails."

"If that were the case, he wouldn't have gone with Amy."

"I threatened him into doing that!" Shadow objected.

"I'm not talking about that," Tails explained. "Esplouge went to the mall with Amy before you ever threatened him. They were there for _hours_. Esplouge and Amy both had a fun time, even though I wasn't there for Esplouge to _obsess_ over, as you put it. If he had some ulterior motive like you think he does, he wouldn't have willingly gone with her especially after seeing how much I didn't want to go. He doesn't remember _anything_, Shadow."

"There is something that does not make sense to me," Metal Sonic cut in. "Esplouge is still powerful. Shadow and I both have chaos emeralds with us, which should only make Esplouge stronger. So why did he refuse to attack us?"

Tails noticed Esplouge's hands were both clamped around something.

"Hunh? What's this?"

Tails easily pried open Esplouge's fingers and revealed both the directions to the store and the money Sonic had given him.

"What's that?" Shadow asked, looking over Tails' shoulder.

"He..."

"I observed numerous fluctuations in the energy flowing through him while we fought," Metal Sonic explained. "But I never saw what he had been using that energy for."

"He put all of his energy into not dropping some stupid paper?" Shadow asked, uninterested. "Why the hell would he do that while he was being attacked?"

"Sonic and I asked him to go get some milk from the grocery store," Tails explained, picking up the paper and money. "We gave him money and directions so he wouldn't get lost. Did he seriously put all of his energy into making sure he didn't drop them?"

Metal Sonic looked Esplouge over from where he stood, almost as if questioning if this really was the monster who had killed his master almost a month ago. After a moment, he walked up to Tails and Esplouge and Shadow.

"He was trying not to let you down," Metal Sonic explained.

"You don't seriously buy this crap, do you?" Shadow asked.

Metal Sonic stared Shadow coldly in the eye.

"If his memories were still in tact, he would have acted differently," the robot explained. "He would have taunted me about my master's death, and he would have tried to destroy us, Shadow. His memories may still be somewhere in his mind, but he can not access them."

Metal Sonic's attention turned to Tails.

"You are aware of that, correct? That was why you tried to keep him a secret from both me and Shadow. You felt that if he spent more time without his memories, there was less of a chance of him becoming violent if and when he finally recalled them."

Tails seemed shocked.

"Am I correct?" Metal Sonic asked.

"Y- yes..."

--

He could hear voices around him, but he couldn't respond to them. It was as though his brain and body had been disconnected from each other, and all he could do was wait while they reconnected. Everything was in a haze, and the words and sounds faded in and out with his awareness. Even the voice that usually talked to him was unable to torment him. It had been silenced for the time being which was probably the only good thing about the situation. At least the creepy voice wasn't able to torment him.

He tried to figure out where he was, but his senses seemed to have been turned off. All except for his sense of hearing, although that was beginning to fail him as well. He wondered if he was dead or dying.

But he could have sworn he had heard Tails' voice before he had come to this dark, lonely place. Tails wouldn't let him die, would he? Tails cared about him, Tails was his best friend, so Tails would never let him die. But still, he had to wonder; what if Tails had come too late?

--

Amy stood beside Esplouge for a moment before returning to Tails. Esplouge's beaten and bruised body was now draped almost lifelessly over the couch in Tails' house. Amy had come running the moment she heard of what had happened. She wanted to make sure Esplouge was okay. After all she was certain he wouldn't have done anything to incite such behaviour out of either Shadow or Metal Sonic. She, like Tails, had grown accepting of Esplouge's new, kinder demeanour. She couldn't see how Esplouge would be able to do anything bad anymore.

"And Sonic was in on it?" Amy asked.

"He planned it," Tails explained, hurt. "He told them about Esplouge being back, and he was the one who told them when it would be an opportune time to attack him."

"I just can't see Sonic doing that," Amy said, sounding a little confused. "Are you sure you heard it right? You could have just heard something wrong, or..."

"Sonic told me himself," Tails interrupted, sounding even more hurt. "He's convinced that Esplouge is faking his memory loss, and he completely refuses to listen to reason."

"So where is he now?" Amy asked.

"I don't care," Tails answered shortly. "Until he admits he was wrong and apologizes for it, I don't care about him anymore. He's been a jerk to me before, but this is too much. He knows how much I care about Esplouge, and for him to try something like this... I can't believe he'd betray my trust like this."

Amy wanted to do something, to say some magical phrase that would make Tails feel better, but she was at a loss for words. She had seen Sonic and Tails have their little disputes on occasion, but they had never been anything more than a little disagreement. This was something new entirely, and she was finding herself afraid of what the outcome would be.

"I think both of you just need to blow off some steam," Amy said unsurely. "Just for a day or two. Then you really need to talk and try to find some common ground. Okay?"

"I want to talk to Esplouge about it first," Tails explained simply. "Then I can go from there."

"Tails..."

"Don't worry, he's a lot more forgiving now than he was before," Tails cut in. "But I want him to know exactly what happened before I do anything. He deserves to know why it happened."

Amy looked surprised.

"You're actually going to tell him about his past...?"

"No," Tails answered quickly. "But... Well, I think telling him a little bit wouldn't be too bad... Just enough so that he understands why Sonic hates him so much, at least."

"You look concerned about something," Amy pointed out. "What's wrong?"

Tails opened his mouth and closed it, unsure of what to say. He stood in thought for a moment before finding the words to say.

"I just don't know if Esplouge is ready to hear it. After all, he did some pretty horrible things, and... Honestly, I'm scared he's going to do it again if I let him know too early. I don't want him to go back to being that cruel, sadistic monster he was before... I like him the way he is now."

Tails stole a glance at Esplouge, who seemed to be resting peacefully. He noted the rise and fall of Esplouge's chest, thankful that Esplouge hadn't been killed.

"Esplouge put all of his energy into holding onto some money and a piece of paper," Tails explained. "He didn't even care about defending himself. He was more worried about letting me and Sonic down. All he wanted to do was get some milk so he and I could make a cake later. He was just walking down the sidewalk... I should have been there with him. I feel like this is my fault."

"It's not your fault," Amy said sternly. "You had no idea what Shadow and Metal Sonic were going to do to him. Heck, until today, no one even knoe where those two were."

"Sonic knew where they were," Tails said venomously. "I still can't believe he would do that..."

Amy pulled Tails into a gentle hug, surprising him. After getting over the temporary shock, however, Tails settled down into the hug comfortably.

_She's always been so nice to me..._

"Don't worry, Tails," Amy said quietly. "I'm here for you. Besides, you need to be strong for Esplouge. He looks up to you now, you know? You're like his big brother."

"Yeah..."

--

_We're going to have so much fun..._

_What are you talking about...?_

_This is going to be so much fun..._

It sounded almost as if it was singing. It was just that happy.

_What's going to be fun...?_

_Just a little more time for the preparations..._

_What the heck are you talking about?_

_Oh, don't worry, Eppy. You don't even have to be awake for it, so you can just relax._

_What are you going to do?_

_Never can believe how much fun we're having..._

Everything felt cold. Why was everything so cold?

_What are you planning...?_

_Nothing that should be of concern to you... Now go back to sleep..._

_But I don't want to..._

--

_You will follow my orders again eventually..._

Esplouge felt his eyes open, although it took a minute for his vision to actually focus. He was in Tails' house, on the couch in the living room, staring at the ceiling. And then images of Shadow and Metal Sonic raided his brain and he felt the most horrible pain, trying to write it all off as just a horrible nightmare. He had just fallen asleep and dreamed it all, but if that was the case, what had he been doing before he had fallen asleep...?

But if that were the case, why was his body in so much pain? Something had to have caused that pain. Right?

_Maybe you did it, Esplouge..._

_What do you mean?_

_You've hurt yourself in your sleep before. Remember...?_

_But... This pain is different. Besides, if I had done this to myself, how did I do it? And how did I get to Tails' couch?_

_Oh, details, details..._

"Tails?" Esplouge called out weakly. "Are you here? Tails?"

It was no use. His voice was so weak, he could hardly hear himself. Figuring he'd have to get up and move around to eventually find Tails, Esplouge tried to sit up, crying out loudly in pain as his body rejected the movement. Someone was bound to hear that. And that assumption was correct, as hardly a minute later, Amy was by his side.

"Are you okay?" Amy asked, feeling her protective, maternal instinct light up the moment she saw Esplouge's weak form.

"Y- yeah... I just got up too fast," Esplouge said weakly. "Uh... Where's Tails?"

"He left for a little while," Amy explained.

"What?!" Esplouge asked suddenly, jolting up too fast and wincing, trying to refrain from crying out in pain.

Amy helped Esplouge sit back down comfortably before continuing.

"Shhh, it's okay. Tails is going to be back soon. He and Sonic had a big fight and... Well, they both needed to blow off some steam."

"They fought?" Esplouge asked, seeming horrified. "Why? I thought they were friends."

"Well... Friends sometimes fight," Amy explained awkwardly. "And friends sometimes do things that they shouldn't do. Bad things. But they still mean well. Do you know what I mean, Esplouge?"

Esplouge shook his head.

"I don't understand it at all. What exactly did Sonic do?"

Amy looked down at Esplouge's innocent, curious face and couldn't find it inside herself to tell him what had really happened. Why he had been attacked, and the truth behind why Tails and Sonic were not currently getting along as they usually did. He was so naive and innocent now, and Amy did not want to rip away that innocence.

"Amy? What did Sonic do?" Esplouge asked again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Amy asked in an attempt to change the subject. "You were hurt pretty bad when Tails found you."

"I... I'm fine, really..." Esplouge said, sounding defeated. "I just want Tails to be here..."

"He'll be back soon," Amy assured. "I promise."

_... Promise...?_

_Esplouge, he promised a girl something, remember?_

_Who is he?_

_You know... him._

_Who is him?_

_The same person who inflicted your wounds._

_Shadow...?_

"Amy, who is Shadow?" Esplouge asked suddenly. "He felt... Familiar somehow. He seemed to know me as well, so I was just wondering who he was."

"He... I don't know how to answer that," Amy said, wishing Tails would hurry up and get back.

"It's a simple question," Esplouge explained a little coldly. "Who is he? What circumstances led he and I to be acquainted with one another?"

Amy was shocked for a moment. Was Esplouge, the now sweet little child, seriously saying all of this? He was staring at the floor now, almost glaring, or was that all just in her head?

"Why do you and Tails keep things from me?" Esplouge asked. "I know there's stuff that you both know about me that I don't remember. Why can't you just tell me what it all is? I can handle it, even if it's really bad. Tails told me that I was mean in the past, but I'm not mean anymore. I just want to remember. It's really miserable, being this confused."

Esplouge suddenly looked to Amy, seeming to do a complete 180. He was suddenly calm again, friendly.

"But I still trust you both," Esplouge continued. "You're both my best friends, and so is Sonic. I know that none of you would ever let me get hurt and you would never keep a secret from me unless it was important."

Amy was admittedly creeped out and unable to hide it. How on earth could Esplouge change attitudes so quickly?

"I... I think you need to get more sleep," Amy said suddenly. "You got hurt really bad, and sleep is the best medicine."

"Okay, Amy," Esplouge said with a smile. He laid back down on the couch and faced away from Amy.

Just as Amy began to walk away, Esplouge spoke up one more time.

"Will Tails be back when I wake up?"

--

Hours had passed. How many it was uncertain, but it had gone from daylight to midnight. And oh how sweet it was, this familiar feeling of prowling the streets at night, seeking out his prey. It was such a familiar feeling and it was accepted with open arms.

Someone was going to die.

--

Tails had gotten back many hours ago. Esplouge had greeted him sleepily, still recovering from the initial shock of being assaulted by Shadow and Metal Sonic. The entire day seemed to pass uneventfully, Esplouge sleeping all day and Tails working on his plane, checking up on Esplouge every half hour or so.

When it was finally time for Tails to get some sleep, Esplouge insisted on sleeping next to him. It was obvious to Tails why Esplouge would want this; he wanted to feel safe while he was most vulnerable. It was reasonable and understandable, so Tails complied with no complaint.

And now it was nearing midnight and Tails woke up the moment he realized Esplouge wasn't there with him anymore.

"Esplouge?" Tails called. "Esplouge, where are you?"

Tails got out of bed and looked around the house, but no matter where he looked, he just couldn't find Esplouge anywhere. He finally gave up and tried to look outside the house, calling out Esplouge's name with every other step he took, worried out of his mind about where Esplouge could be or what could be happening to him.

After around a half hour, he reasoned that Esplouge was nowhere nearby. He tried to run to look for Esplouge before reasoning that the plane would be faster.

--

When Tails finally found Esplouge, he was horrified. Esplouge was just standing there in the middle of the street, blood covering his body from head to toe. He seemed exhausted, as if he had just done something strenuous, and the three bodies at his feet hinted toward what that activity could have been. Tails landed his plane as quickly as possible and ran toward Esplouge without hesitation, refusing to believe that Esplouge had killed those people.

"Esplouge...?!"

Esplouge looked toward him hollowly, as if in a trance. It was the same expression he had had when he carved out his wrists with the knife. And, like what had happened on that night, Esplouge's hollowed expression almost immediately turned to one of shock.

"Tails...?! Where are we?!"

Esplouge looked back to the corpses at his feet and shrieked. He covered his eyes, not wanting any of it to be real, and he felt the warm, sticky blood seep into the fur around his eyes.

"Make it go away, Tails!" Esplouge cried. "I'm scared!"

By now, Esplouge was visibly shaking and tears were flowing through the spaces between his fingers. He felt so lonely, so scared. He was sure that Tails would think he had done this and would never talk to him again, maybe would send Shadow and Metal Sonic on him...

But he didn't. Tails gently touched Esplouge's shoulder, allowing Esplouge to know that he was there. Esplouge looked to Tails timidly, still covering part of his face.

"Did you do this?" Tails asked seriously.

"N- no! I swear I...!"

"No. I want you to answer me calmly. Did you do this?"

"N- no..."

Tails led Esplouge back to his plane, fully trusting that he was telling the truth. There had to be some other logical explanation for this, right? Esplouge would never lie to him, not after the bond they had formed over the past few days. Esplouge was completely different than he had been before, he wasn't capable of doing anything like this anymore...

Except there was a part of his mind that knew that wasn't true. If someone was capable of murder, they would always be capable of repeating such an act, no matter what happened to their memory. But he wanted Esplouge to be different, he wanted Esplouge to be sweet and kind and gentle, just as he had seemed to be over the past few days.

"Tails... We have to help them..." Esplouge said miserably. "Can't we take them to a hospital to be fixed...?"

"N- no... Just get in the plane, okay? We'll be home soon."

"But..."

"Esplouge, it's really important that you do what I say right now. We have to get out of here."

Esplouge nodded and climbed awkwardly into the plane, just as eager to leave as Tails was.


	9. Resurface

The two got back to Tails' house very quickly. When they got there, Tails rushed Esplouge, who was still in a daze, inside.

_Oh my god, I can't beleive this, I can't believe Esplouge would do something like this again, I though he was different now, why did he have to do this, why the fuck...?!_

Esplouge sat down on the couch, still dazed and confused. He was so utterly quiet, it was almost spooky. He just sat there, staring at his hands, not even seeming to see them.

_He couldn't have done it, could he? Not after all we've been through, why does he have to go back to being what he was before? I want him to stay innocent and kind, damn it!_

"Esplouge, we need to talk..." Tails began.

"I didn't do it," Esplouge said automatically. "I... I would never do something like that. Why don't you believe me?"

"... How did their blood get on you?" Tails asked. "And why did you... You looked exactly the same as you did when you were sleepwalking."

Esplouge seemed to perk up at this, suddenly very interested, but he said nothing.

"I don't think you meant to kill them, but if you were sleepwalking the whole time... Well, you weren't _aware_ of it, but you still..."

"But... I would never hurt another person..." Esplouge argued weakly, already knowing he was going to lose. There was no denying it; he could not account for the time between falling asleep and waking up to Tails calling out his name. He couldn't account for a single thing in that time, and considering what he had done to his wrists mere days before...

"I... I hurt them, didn't I?" Esplouge asked, feeling defeated. "I... But I don't remember, I... I swear, I don't remember hurting them!"

"Calm down, calm down," Tails eased. "Look, I know you didn't mean to do it. I trust you, Esplouge. But the thing is, other people _don't_. Other people don't trust you, and you're going to have to confess..."

"But why?!" Esplouge argued defensively. "If no one knows I did it, then why do I have to tell them? I didn't mean to do it and _I just want to get away from it!_"

"That's not right," Tails objected, trying to remain calm. "You have to confess when you do something wrong..."

"_But it wasn't my fault!_" Esplouge argued. "It's not fair... I didn't _want_ to hurt those people, so why do I have to take the blame? It's not fair!"

"It wouldn't be fair if the wrong person got in trouble for what you did," Tails explained. "Think about that. You wouldn't like it if, say, Sonic did something bad and tried to blame you for it, would you?"

"But... I really didn't mean to..." Esplouge said weakly. "And... And how do we know I didn't just... find them like that? What if I was sleepwalking and just... Found them like that? Couldn't that have happened?"

"That doesn't explain how their blood got on you," Tails countered. "You would have had to have been near them for that to happen."

"Then... Well, what if I checked to see if they were still alive?" Esplouge said. "And then after that, I just didn't know what to do? That's logical, right?"

"... You're going to argue with everything I say, aren't you?" Tails asked.

"I just don't want to believe I did it," Esplouge explained. "I just want to rule everything else out. I know it looked bad, but... Do you honestly think that even in my sleep I would do something so bad? I couldn't even defend myself before when Shadow and the robot were beating me up, so why would I suddenly...?"

"What about when you cut your arms in your sleep?" Tails asked. "You would never even consider doing that if you were awake, and that was a very violent things, so..."

"But I only hurt _me_. I didn't hurt anyone else. Doesn't that count for anything?"

Tails wanted to argue, but he had to admit that Esplouge had a point. He had never hurt another person while sleepwalking before, so why would he start now?

Oh, but Esplouge had only sleep walked one time before, so how could he come to a logical conclusion with only that? It didn't make any sense at all, it was quite easy to figure that the need to cause pain had risen back to the level it had been before Esplouge had forgotten; and it felt as though it was only a matter of time before he began to act entirely like his old self. It was only a matter of time before he remembered everything and everything Tails had been working on, fixing Esplouge once and for all, was going to fall apart completely.

"Can I go take a shower now, Tails?" Esplouge asked, jarring Tails from his thoughts. "I really want to get the blood off. It feels icky."

"Yeah... Sure," Tails answered absently.

Esplouge made no attempt to rush up the stairs, seeming to be deep in thought himself. Tails sat down next to where Esplouge had been mere moments ago, losing himself in thought.

--

Esplouge had startled when he saw his reflection in the mirror. That horrible red colour, the colour of blood terrified him for some reason. He just couldn't stand the colour red anymore.

The shower water felt good on his fur. It was not too hot, not to cold; just the perfect temperature. He had startled when the water came out cold at first, finding himself afraid of the cold for some reason, but the hot water just felt so painful and awful. So now it was in the middle, warm but not too warm, cool but not too cool. Just perfect.

_Why am I afraid of such weird things? _Esplouge wondered. _What the heck happened to me in the past to cause them?_

_Think about it logically. Something should come up, even if it's only a theory._

_Hypothesis._

_What?_

_A theory is supported by data. A hypothesis is a guess._

_So some of your memory is beginning to come back..._

_I guess... But still... I'm afraid of blood, but sometimes... It doesn't scare me so much. It's like... I know I should be scared, but... I'm just not._

_How do you feel, then, if you're not scared?_

_I don't know. It's really weird..._

_Hmm... Well, what about the cold? Any guesses on that one, Eppy?_

_... If I'm afraid of red and blood, then was I not violent in the past? Or was I squeamish?_

_Esplouge..._

_Some flowers are red. Did I just not like flowers? Apples and strawberries are red..._

_Shadow's stripes are red. And so is Knuckles. You do remember him, right?_

_... Amy's dress is red..._

_Ah, that's surfacing again, I see._

_What's surfacing again?_

_Your attraction to her. You liked her before you forgot everything._

_Well, duh. She's a really nice person. So is Tails. I like them both._

_... You don't understand what I mean. But it doesn't matter right now anyway._

_I should be focusing on what happened tonight. What exactly did I do? Did I just walk up on it, or did I actually..._

_You know what's even more interesting? How many people did you, and this is all hypothetical, of course, but how many people did you really kill tonight?_

_... I don't get it._

_Well, there were three dead people when Tails found you. Two of their hearts were removed, yes you got that close to them, but my question for you, Eppy, is whether of not you went anywhere else where people died tonight._

Esplouge just stood in the water, allowing it to beat against his back, watching the mixture of water and blood swirl around his feet.

_I don't want to do bad things to people. Why can't my subconscious realize that?_

_Your subconscious wants to do bad things to people. Why can't your pitiful little conscious mind realize that?_

_What?_

_It's blood lust has been satisfied... For the time being. But how long until that monster has to come back out?_

_I don't know what you're talking about._

_You will... Soon. You just need to wait a little longer._

_A little longer for what?_

Esplouge stood there for a few more minutes, but didn't get a response. He finally gave up on waiting, finished cleaning up, and dried himself off. He knew that Tails would comfort him when he went back downstairs. Or, at least, he hoped Tails would.

--

Tails cursed under his breath. According to the news, six people had died that night; not just three.

_Well, then, Esplouge couldn't have done it. I mean, he couldn't have been gone for too long, and how would he have had time to get to all three crime scenes? They're all a little close, but not that close..._

Tails' thoughts were interrupted by Esplouge coming back downstairs. Esplouge appeared very concerned about something.

"Esplouge...?"

"Hunh? Oh..."

Esplouge sat down next to Tails and stared at the television screen in front of them intently.

"I just don't know," Esplouge said, still staring directly into the glowing box. "I just don't know anymore..."

"You don't know what?" Tails asked, finding himself disturbed by Esplouge. Something about him seemed off.

"Why did I kill them?" Esplouge asked. "Was there any reason? Did I even know them? Or was it just random?"

"What happened to defending yourself?" Tails asked. "Ruling everything out?"

"..."

Esplouge didn't say anything. He merely continued to stare at the television screen, seeming to not even see it.

"Esplouge, what's going on?" Tails asked. "You seem... out of it."

"Out of my mind?" Esplouge asked flatly. "That's how I feel right now. Like I'm out of my mind."

Esplouge clenched his fists, then relaxed them.

"I killed them," Esplouge continued. "I... I know I did. They screamed, all of them, but I just didn't care. I..."

Esplouge's body tensed up for a moment, then relaxed.

"It... Fuck, it felt _good_, Tails! I just... I just tore away their flesh, ripped out a few hearts, and I just stood there, watching them slowly die of blood loss. And you know what? _I enjoyed every minute of it_."

"You... You remember?" Tails asked, feeling numb.

_How much does he remember, exactly?_

"Yes. Six people were murdered. Four hearts removed. Three hearts couldn't be found."

Esplouge finally looked at Tails, the same smirk he used to have re-plastered to his face.

"How much do I remember, were you thinking of asking me that? Were you, _Miles?_"

Tails felt his heart drop and his panic rise. Every effort he had made, every attempt to fix Esplouge had all bee for nothing. And now, he just knew something bad was going to happen.


	10. Love

Tails stared at Esplouge in shock.

_No, he can't possibly, not after everything we've been through these past few days, I worked too hard for this to happen..._

"H- how much _do_ you remember, exactly?" Tails asked, trying to keep his voice level.

"How much do you think?" Esplouge asked. "I remember much more than you would want me to, although I'm not sure I remember _everything_ just yet."

Esplouge pinned Tails down to the couch, making sure he couldn't get up and run away.

"When did we first meet?" Esplouge asked quietly. "How did I feel about you when I first saw you? I can't imagine my feelings toward you haven't changed in the time that we've known each other."

"Wh- what?"

"I... I don't know, am I starting to hate you even more, or am I actually warming up to you?" Esplouge asked, seeming completely lost. His eyes almost seemed to see nothing as he stared down at Tails. "These past few days... There were times I wanted to rip your head off, but... when you were there with me..."

"Esplouge, what the hell are you talking about?"

Esplouge didn't seem to hear him.

"... I actually felt safe," Esplouge finished. "Like... A part of me knew you couldn't do much to protect me... you're just so weak and all... but you were somehow... comforting. I felt... happy for once. You made me feel happy. Almost sane. But I guess that's all over now..."

"It doesn't have to be," Tails cut in, finally seeming to grab Esplouge's attention. "You... You still have the choice to act sane if you want to... Er, well, I mean..."

"I've run out of choices," Esplouge said coldly.

"Run out of... What do you mean?"

Esplouge got off of Tails and started toward the door. Tails sat up but made no attempt to follow.

"Esplouge?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Esplouge asked weakly. "Isn't everything just so _obvious_ now?"

"What the heck are you...?"

Esplouge opened the door and stepped out, not even bothering to close the door behind him. Tails stared after him for a moment.

_Where the heck is he going?_

When Tails finally decided to get up and try to follow Esplouge, he realized that Esplouge was out of sight.

_Shit, what do I do now?_

Tails stood there a moment, eventually deciding to wait for Esplouge to return home.

--

_I guess there's only one thing left for me to do..._

_That's right, Esplouge. Well, actually, no, you're wrong. There are two things you need to do, not one._

_Two?_

_Yes, two._

_What are they?_

_I'm only telling you one of them. You already know the other._

_So tell me._

_Which is the one that you know?_

_... That I need to die._

_And do you remember how you can accomplish such a feat? After all, you've tried to die before, but you..._

_Yes, I know what to do now._

_..._

_Well?_

_Well what?_

_You were going to tell me the other thing._

_Hunh?_

_The other thing I have to do._

_Oh, yes, that. Well, you see..._

--

Esplouge found himself outside of Amy's house. He stared at the door, almost as if wondering how he had gotten there in the first place. He knocked on the door softly, already regretting what he was about to do.

_This'll only make that other thing you have to do easier. So relax._

Amy answered the door, seeming both tired and confused.

"Esplouge?" she asked, her voice sounding as sleepy as she looked. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Uh... Um..."

_Just tell her what I told you to say, Eppy._

"T- T- Tails and I got in a f- fight..." Esplouge stuttered unsurely. "C- can I stay here with you?"

"Of course," Amy said, allowing Esplouge inside. "What did you two fight about?"

"Uh... Um... I..."

_You need some glass, Eppy. Remember?_

"I... I'm sorry, c- could I get a glass of water?" Esplouge asked. "I'm really thirsty..."

"Sure," Amy answered warmly. She headed for the kitchen and returned moments later with a glass of water. Esplouge accepted it with shaking hands and took a sip of the water, feeling even more sick as the liquid made its way down to his stomach.

"So, what did you and Tails fight about?" Amy asked. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"N- not really..."

Esplouge found himself unable to look at Amy.

"B- but I guess I have to..." Esplouge continued. "I... Shit, my head hurts. Do you have any headache medicine?"

Amy headed back into the kitchen, looking for the medicine. Esplouge stared after her a moment before letting his glass fall to the floor. It shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces, but like always, there was one shard that was just the perfect size and shape for what he would need it for. Amy rushed back into the room upon hearing the glass shatter, stopping only when she saw the shard of glass in Esplouge's hand.

"E- Esplouge, what...?!"

"I love you," Esplouge said quickly.

Amy stared at him, wondering if she had misheard him. She had no idea how to respond to the situation, much less to what she was sure Esplouge had just said.

"I think it's Shadow and Tails' faults," Esplouge continued. "You... You just remind Shadow so much of Maria, and Tails... well, he's loved you for a long time now. So naturally..."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Amy asked.

Esplouge offered a weak smile.

"I love you almost as much as I hate myself," Esplouge said.

_Do it, Esplouge, kill her!_

"I'm really going to miss you, Amy."


	11. Confession

_You see, Esplouge? Wasn't that fun?_

"I... I..."

_Wasn't that just so fucking fun?_

Esplouge felt the bloodied shard of glass slip out of his hand and fall to the floor, although it barely registered in his mind. He couldn't take his eyes off of what he had done, not even for a moment.

"Wh- why did I...?"

He replayed it in his mind, trying to make sense of it.

He had arrived at Amy's house, had lied to her about something - having a fight with Tails or some other thing that anyone could have made up in the spur of the moment - and then... Everything just became so confused after that. But whatever had happened, it ended with Amy lying dead on the floor, many slashes and stab wounds all over her otherwise beautiful body, and now Esplouge couldn't force himself to look away.

_Is that guilt, Eppy?_

"Why... Why? Why do keep doing things like this?" Esplouge asked out loud. "I keep..."

_Hurting the ones you love?_

Esplouge had originally intended on saying "hurting innocent people", but when he thought about it, the voice was right. Every murder he had committed had affected Tails and Amy in some way, even if it was indirect, so in a way, he was hurting the ones he loved. He was always hurting the people he cared about.

"I... I don't understand, if I have all of my memory back... I should be acting... well, how _you_ want me to act. Why am I feeling guilty?"

_He got to you, Esplouge. Tails managed to open up your bleeding little heart. And look how you returned that. Do you see, Esplouge? No matter what you do, no matter what you think, you will always be a killer. You will always hurt the ones you care about, and you will always have a blood lust that, no matter what you do, just can't be satisfied. And has it occurred to you that maybe you were lying to yourself before?_

"What do you mean?" Esplouge asked out loud. "Lying to myself about what?"

_Maybe you always felt guilt. Maybe you just told yourself you were happy, but you were really miserable on the inside._

"You're full of it," Esplouge said contemptuously, finally looking away from Amy in favour of looking towards the door. "When the hell was I miserable?"

_Think about it this way, Esplouge; why did you try to off yourself so many times? When you and Shadow were fighting, right before you "died" for the second time, he tried to convince you to get out of there. Do you remember?_

Esplouge was silent.

_The entire building was collapsing around you, and you knew the bomb would go off, and he tried to get you to get out, he screamed at you to get out, and what did you do? Can you tell me what you did, Esplouge?_

"I..."

Esplouge looked down to his feet, trying to replay the memory in his mind.

"I just stared at him. I... I remember, he was screaming at me and I wanted to... I wanted to take him down with me, but at the same time... I just wanted to make sure someone faster than me could get to Tails. I told him to go make sure Tails was okay."

_But did you make any effort to get out of there after he left?_

Esplouge was silent for a moment before uttering a whispery, "No."

He looked back to Amy's body, forcing down the part of his mind that felt guilty. In his own twisted sense of reality, the blood actually looked nice, as though the red of her dress were somehow glitching, like a program that needed to be fixed. It was like a work of art, although he knew that no one would share the same opinion. All they would see was a dead body or, in the case of a select few, a dead friend.

And then it occurred to him that she probably had a family that would be devastated over the death of such a young family member, and that only added to the guilt. He realized that he had known almost nothing about Amy but for some reason, he had felt affection towards her, no matter how perverted his expression of that affection may have been.

_It was because of Shadow and Tails. They both loved her, so you naturally loved her, too._

"But neither of them had anything like _you_in their heads," Esplouge objected. "Stop trying to compare me to them; I'm my own person."

_But why are you your own person? You're just an experiment, you should be exactly like a mixture of the things you were created from. Of course, there was one more thing, if you remember correctly..._

"I... What? I don't remember... A third thing? Really? Who was it?"

_Not "who"._

"What?"

_Exactly._

"What?"

_The question is not "who" the third contributor was, but "what" the third contributor was._

"I don't understand..."

_The colour red..._

"What the hell...?"

_Like the colour of blood..._

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

_Isn't there something that causes you tremendous amounts of pain when you go near it?_

Esplouge stood in silence, trying to remember what the voice was talking about.

"You mean the red chaos emerald. Right?"

_Haven't you ever wondered why the other emeralds don't harm you, while the red one literally makes you feel like your very life is being sucked away? Have you ever thought that, maybe, your life really is being sucked away?_

"It... really... So, if I'm around it long enough, I'll die. Right? That's why I can't die; I still have some of it's energy from when Eggman created me. I... Shit, everything's still a little fuzzy... But if I remember correctly... That was the emerald he used, wasn't it? The red one?"

_My, I do believe things are beginning to come together in your head. Do you recall when Shadow nearly lost his life? Remember, he was in his Super form, and then he just ran out of time. The emeralds took their energy back, which left him plummeting toward the Earth. He was just lucky he has that little Chaos Control ability of his, otherwise he'd have died, and you'd have never been born._

"And your point?"

_My point is, dear, that maybe the emerald is trying to get its energy back from you. And once it does... Well, that energy is what keeps you alive. It is your life, essentially. Eggman didn't know how to give his creation, how to give you life. So he did the only thing that would have occurred to him; he used a chaos emerald. Of course, he wasn't as knowledgeable about how those emeralds work as his grandfather was, so he made a few... mistakes. You wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for that chaos emerald. In fact, your mind was affected quite noticeably by that emerald._

"My mind was affected...?"

_The third contributing factor in your creation, and in your personality. Tell me, why do you think they're called "chaos" emeralds?_

"Chaos... _Fuck_, you're the one behind all this shit, aren't you?! You're that fucking emerald and you're _in my fucking head...!_"

_My, you do catch on quickly._

"All this time, all that shit that went through my head, it was all _you...!_"

_Yes, it was. Now what are you going to do about it?_

"I'll fucking kill you...!"

_Now, now, Eppy. That doesn't exactly work. See, I am what gives you life. So, to kill me, you'd have to make the ultimate sacrifice; you'd have to kill yourself._

Esplouge stared down at his feet, clenching his fists.

"Giving up _my_life wouldn't be the ultimate sacrifice..." Esplouge objected angrily. "Giving up Tails' life would. And I'm not about to do that."

_Then what are you going to do?_

Esplouge picked up the glass shard he had dropped before heading toward the door.

"You have the ability to warp through space and time and you don't know what I'm going to do?" Esplouge remarked sarcastically.

He opened the door and stared out into the darkness of the night, realizing that if things went his way, it would soon be like this for him all the time. It was all just a matter of tracking down that one chaos emerald, and he had a guess where it would be.

--

Some time passed, Esplouge wasn't sure how long it had been exactly, before he got back to Tails' house. Tails was waiting outside for him, sitting on his doorstep. When Tails saw Esplouge, he ran to him immediately.

"Esplouge, where were you, why did you leave so suddenly, do you have _any_ idea how worried I was about you?!" Tails asked all in one breath.

Tails took a step back, noticing the fresh blood on Esplouge's front.

_Oh god, no, not now, not after everything, why does he have to go back now..._

"What... What did you do?" Tails asked softly, suddenly scared. "Esplouge, what...?"

"Get in the house," Esplouge ordered. "_Now._"

"N- no..."

Esplouge grabbed Tails roughly by the shoulder and pulled him close, holding the shattered glass against his small throat. Tails wriggled slightly in his grip, but Esplouge managed to hold him in place.

"Get in the house," Esplouge said again. "I've had a shitty night and I really need to talk to you, and I'd much prefer it if we could talk inside. No one else is in there, right?"

Tails shook his head timidly, thankful that Esplouge's grip on both him and the glass seemed to be softening.

"No, it's just me and you," Tails said. He didn't say anything else, although questions were storming through his head. He and Esplouge walked inside, closing the door after themselves.

"So what did you...?"

"The red chaos emerald," Esplouge interrupted. "Where is it?"

"Wh- what? Why?"

"I... I need it for something," Esplouge answered. "It's important."

"But doesn't it hurt you...?"

"Look, do you know where it is or not?"

"It's... It's in Sonic's room..."

Esplouge ran to the room, fully prepared to turn it inside-out in his search for the gem, although the faint red glow caught his attention almost instantly. It was sitting fully exposed on a table, leaving Esplouge wondering how he had missed it before, although by now, he didn't really care. He approached the gem timidly, knowing what kind of pain to expect. Tails grabbed him behind and tried to hold him still.

"Esplouge, it hurts you!" Tails exclaimed. "Why on earth would you...?!"

"Tails..."

The two were silent for a moment before Esplouge continued.

"You know I love you, right?"

"What...?"

"Not like... "love" love, but... I care about you. You're aware of that, right? I mean, I know I've treated you like shit, but I really do care about you. Even when... Even when I tried to kill you, I just... couldn't. There was always something inside me, some tiny piece of reason that knew I would never be able to bear it if I did anything to hurt you.

"And then, just tonight, I realized that everything I've ever done in my entire life was, in some way, meant to hurt you. I've been hurting you, be it physical or emotional, and I know that I just can't stop. Tails, I will never stop hurting you unless something prevents me from..."

Esplouge broke off suddenly, trying to hide his face from Tails.

"Esplouge, please, you're just... You just need help, it might take some time, but I promise I can help you, I can fix you..."

"You can't fix me," Esplouge said quietly. "No one can. I... I'm defective, Tails. I was just... created wrong. And no matter what you or anyone else does... You just can't fix me."

"No, I can, I'm smart enough, I can do whatever you need me to do, I _swear_..."

"I need you to let go of me," Esplouge said. "I need you to let me go both physically and emotionally. Leave if you have to."

"I'm not going to let you hurt yourself!" Tails argued.

"I'm not going to hurt myself," Esplouge said. "I... Fuck, you're such a selfish brat, you know that?! I'm trying to end your suffering and mine, but you just can't accept that maybe, just maybe, death would be better for me than this hellhole of an existence!"

Tails flinched from the sudden harsh tone Esplouge's voice had taken on, but he refused to let go.

"No, you just need help," Tails argued weakly, tears filling his eyes. "Please don't... Please don't do anything to hurt yourself..."

Esplouge pushed Tails away, but made no move toward or away from the chaos emerald. He merely stared at Tails, wondering why it all had to be so hard. Everything in his life had been hard, why couldn't this one last thing be different?

"Tails... If you cared about me as much as you say you do... Wouldn't you want to see my suffering end? Wouldn't you want to see me finally at peace?"

"But... But you'll come back, won't you?" Tails asked hopefully. "You always come back..."

Esplouge pulled Tails close to himself. He squoze Tails tightly, almost too tightly, but Tails didn't object.

_He never fights back..._

"No," Esplouge said quietly. "Not anymore."

"It's not fair..." Tails sobbed. "Just when you were doing better..."

"I wasn't doing better," Esplouge pointed out. "Some of the scars from the sleepwalking episode are still there... Not to mention the voice..."

"Voice?" Tails asked. He tried to remember, but he couldn't recall anything about a voice. All of it, everything that was going on, was just too much.

"The... Well... It's sort of complicated... I wrote some things down, but I left them at Amy's house. If you want to know everything, just go there."

"I'm not leaving you alone here," Tails objected.

"I'm not asking you to," Esplouge said, pulling away from Tails and moving toward the emerald, feeling the first sharp singes of pain as the energy, his life, was being forcibly torn out of him. "I'm asking you to go read it when I'm no longer here. As much as it doesn't seem like it, I want at least _you_ to know everything..."

Tails latched onto Esplouge, trying to keep him away from the emerald, unaware that Esplouge was close enough to feel his life slowly ebbing away. Esplouge's body had already began to heat up from the transfer of energy, but Tails assumed it was because of the stress of the situation.

"But why?" Tails asked. "Why do you have to die?"

"Because... Sometimes people make mistakes," Esplouge explained. "And my creation was one of them. Tails, would you honestly prefer I live the rest of my otherwise eternal life in pain and misery, or would you rather I find some peace? Don't you care about me?"

Tails' grip seemed to loosen slightly.

"I do, but..."

"Then let me die. Forget about me. You'll understand all of it soon, as soon as you read those notes I left for you, but right now, you just have to trust my judgement."

Tails' hold on Esplouge loosened even more.

"I'm so sorry I'm putting you through this, Tails," Esplouge said quietly. "Trust me, if I could have it any other way..."

"I... I..."

Esplouge slipped out of Tails' arms and faced him, backing toward the emerald. His body began to glow with a bright red light as the energy was sucked out of him. Tails forced down the urge to run to Esplouge, to pull him away from the emerald they had both grown to hate.

"I love you, Tails," Esplouge said. "I want you to be happy, okay? Promise me you'll be happy from now on."

"I... How can I do that?" Tails asked. "I can't be happy if you're not here..."

"There's always a period of mourning when someone close to you dies," Esplouge said. "You have my permission to mourn, but please try to be cheerful afterwords, okay? I want you to be happy."

Esplouge had to kneel, the pain of the emerald was getting too strong for him to handle. Tails was immediately at his side, kneeling down next to him, trying to comfort him somehow, although they both knew it was futile.

"I don't think I can be happy if you're not here," Tails said.

Esplouge collapsed and suddenly, the red aura grew fainter. His body seemed to darken almost, as though the red from the chaos emerald had been colouring his fur.

The last words Esplouge heard, in Tails' voice, were, "I love you, too."

And then everything went black.


	12. The End is Just the Beginning

A/N: I know that last chapter seemed very final-ish, but I had to include one more chapter if only for the fact that I'm planning to make a sequel to this. The title of the sequel will be "Identity."

And I want to thank all of my reviewers for encouraging me and for being so nice. You guys are great!

--

Tails stayed by Esplouge's side for what felt like forever, even after the glowing had stopped and he was sure the darker fox was dead.

_Esplouge has to come back. He always comes back. He was in the middle of an explosion. I saw his heart get ripped out. He has to come back..._

But Esplouge had said that this was the final time. Perhaps Esplouge was being paranoid, maybe he _would_ come back after all, but with every passing minute, Tails knew that nothing would happen.

Esplouge was dead for good this time.

But he didn't have to be gone. Tails had known him better than anyone, had understood him as completely and fully as anyone ever could. There were still some things he didn't understand, but Esplouge had mentioned leaving behind some notes at Amy's house.

Amy. She was probably dead by now. Esplouge hadn't stated it outright, or maybe he had and Tails didn't remember, but Tails was sure that Esplouge had killed Amy.

Tails hugged Esplouge's body close to his as tightly as he could. He felt hollow now, as though nothing could affect him. He had grown so used to Esplouge, so attached to Esplouge, he could no longer imagine living without him. All of the brightness of his life before Esplouge had come was gone now. The last shimmering light had died with Esplouge.

He was cold now.

Tails let go of Esplouge, moved the loose bangs out of his dead eyes absently, thinking of what his next move would be.

He had some letters to read. But he had something else to do before that.

Tails climbed up the stairs and walked into his room, opened the closet, and found the shard of glass Esplouge had almost killed him with what must have been two months ago by now. He grabbed the glass and slipped it into his glove just as he had seen Esplouge do. The glass cut into his skin almost immediately, drawing blood, just as it must have with Esplouge.

Now he was ready to go to Amy's house.

--

Amy was dead, just as he thought. Her body had been stabbed and slashed numerous times, and some of the skin beneath her dress was showing.

But all Tails cared about were the notes Esplouge had left for him.

He found the papers underneath a pile of broken glass on the kitchen counter. The papers themselves looked as though they had been ripped out of the backs of books, and the handwriting on it was so frantic-looking it was almost impossible to read. Tails swept of the glass without a thought, letting it fall to the floor in a mess around his feet, and he picked up a piece of paper and began reading.

Everything he could possibly need to know about Esplouge was revealed to him. The letters were very specific, went into perfect detail of things Esplouge had felt that Tails had known nothing about. They told of the voice, of what it was, that it was all the chaos emerald and that he had never truly wanted to hurt anyone.

The power of the chaos emerald had been the only thing keeping him alive. But that same power was what had made him so insane. The power had given him life, but at a cost; it had corrupted him. Esplouge would likely have been happier in death, although Tails wasn't willing to accept that.

_Esplouge doesn't have to be dead..._

_No, he doesn't._

Tails looked back to Amy, staring at her mutilated body blankly. Esplouge had done that. Esplouge had been the one who killed her.

_No, wait, maybe it was me. I killed her...?_

Tails' fist clenched around the shard of glass in his glove, causing the glass to dig deeply into his hand. He barely noticed it. Esplouge's death had removed the feeling from his body.

He was numb now. Just as Esplouge was.

_What am I going to do now?_

Tails smirked suddenly.

He knew exactly what he had to do.


End file.
